LARISSA THOMAS

First 3 Pages of The Scares

2011-07-14T17:37:00.000-04:00

Preview of The Scares Issue #1... Coming soon.

Also check out my tumblr http://larissathomas.tumblr.com/ which I'll be updating more often than blogger.

My SUPER Comic Entry!

2011-03-25T00:55:00.004-04:00

Here's my entry for the SUPER comic contest. There's still a week left if you want to enter! (Just don't trump my comic, I really want that signed script!)

Man, I so can't wait to see this!!!!!!! AHHHH!!!!

Later edit: I won! Grand Prize!!! I'm currently caressing my James Gunn script and sniffing the envelope it came in as I write this.

Good Things

2011-03-16T12:30:00.015-04:00

You interested in good things?

THE TAINT
This movie is full of filth, cocks, pus/semen, and ridiculousness, as well as some sweet music. I recieved the DVD a few weeks ago, and what a delight! It also comes with commentary. But you can download the movie as well (although you will want to share this movie, like the one in The Ring, and bless/curse those around you, so I do suggest getting the DVD).

The Taint Trailer (NSFW) from Dan Nelson on Vimeo.

HATCHET 2
Have you seen the first Hatchet (hi, Harmony from Buffy's boobs)? If you're a lover of all the classic slasher greats and you haven't seen Adam Green's Hatchet and Hatchet 2, you're doing yourself a great disservice. The death scenes are gleeful and gory, and the killer looks like a Hills Have Eyes version of Chucky on steroids. (And yeah, that's Candyman).

MEMOIR
Ben McCool and Nikki Cook's Memoir (Image) has two issues out so far, with more to go. If you're into small town horror phenomenon (come on, who isn't?) pick this up.

MISFITS
For a few months I had a couple of friends suggest I watch Misfits. I don't know why the description never appealed to me (residual disinterest in "mass" super powers after Heroes and The 4400 and whatever else did this concept). I finally watched it - back to back - it was amazing. The characters are hilarious, the situations are hilarious, the show is... hilarious. It stands leaps and bounds above it's predecessors. I don't even really know where to begin with my praise. The first episode does feature a Power Rangers meets Nike ad "transformation" clip, however don't be put off. Because the characters powers don't require any real amount of special effects, this show can take it to believable heights.

JOE BECKER'S NEW BLOG
To see Joe Becker's work is to love it.

Check out his filthy new painting blog.

MISKATONIC INSTITUTE
I'm currently taking horror film classes at Miskatonic. Not only is it the best place in Montreal and has effectively saved me from losing my mind, but it also doubles as a Cinema for the weird and wonderful. Check this place out, there is something for all horror/occult fans.

Also, wetting my pants to see Hobo With a Shotgun, Super, Detention, The Innkeepers, Insidious and Scream 4.

Updates

2011-02-12T21:35:00.000-05:00

The last week and a half I've been contributing a daily web strip to guerrillageek.com. When I say daily, I mean Monday to Friday. Hermits also deserve the weekend off, even if it is only to catch up on masturbating and gossip blogs.

Basically it's a conversational strip, where sometimes stuff happens (there's gonna be some spaced out action, I promise), but mostly it's conversations about awesome and awesomely bad stuff, ie: movies, TV shows, comics, books, and hot chicks. I don't have to be a lesbian to appreciate hot chicks, a'ight?

Its permanent address is here, and it's updated Mon-Fri Noon EST: http://www.guerrillageek.com/category/webcomics/pet-sock/

I know some of you are too lazy to click, so I posted a couple of the strips below:

Almost halfway done first issue of The Scares (if only I hadn't pushed it to 29 pages!). Feeling pretty happy with how all the redraws have turned out so far. Can't wait 'til it's done! Just need to stay away from the damn internet!

Pet Sock #2

2011-02-01T11:34:00.002-05:00

Pet Sock #1

2011-02-01T00:52:00.000-05:00

Thinking about doing a quick strip a few times a week to break up the monotony of surfing the internet, waiting for new photos of Megan Fox, and working on The Scares.

And yes, I am aware it's not actually funny. However, I find doing this amusing.

Digital Comics: E-death or E-glory?

2011-01-28T19:11:00.022-05:00

I try to avoid getting ranty anymore online, (ahh livejournal, you still haunt me). However, lately I've been reading a lot of opinions on digital versus paper comics. And I feel compelled to join in; everyone and their two fuckin' spit-shined cents.

I'm no expert, in fact, I'm still in the process of creating my first "real" comic (please don't count the other ones), and I didn't really start getting into comics until I was about twenty years old. However, I am of the generation that bridges the gap between ye olde fuddy duddies (j/k!) and Generation Ritalin.

I spent the majority of my formative years in a town of less than two thousand. When I was a teenager the internet was only just finding its footing. Although I spent much of that time in Christian chatrooms heckling people, looking up photos of hot guys in punk bands, altavista'ing gross things to show my friends in computer class, and trying to find ways to be way cooler than everyone else at school. Something else happened, too. Suddenly, I didn't have to wait for our quarter-annum family trip to the Barrie Mall to stock up on $30 NOFX and Less Than Jake CDs. I could just download the music! For free! In fact, I could find rare versions of songs you couldn't even find at the Barrie Mall! Sure, it was illegal, but what does a whiskey-drinking, mailbox-knocking teenager who is "punk as fuck" care?

Comics? I read MAD, Cracked, and Betty and Veronica (which I kept in a basket beside our toilet). I didn't even know that comics beyond Spiderman, Batman, and Superman existed.

That is, until I moved to the city. Toronto was where I discovered everything. I found friends with similar interests (although those were ever-changing in my early twenties - both friends and interests). And I had a friend that introduced me to the work of Julie Doucet and Daniel Clowes.

From there, I uncovered many other comic-creators, writers, and artists that I fell in love with. I began with the more independent stuff from Fantagraphics and D&Q, then worked my over to Image, Vertigo, and Dark Horse. I had found it, the one thing that I could always love (well, besides horror movies). But I'll never forget the first time I walked into the Silver Snail. My heart was in my stomach. I was so nervous they'd spot me; "Imposter! Imposter!" They'd ask me questions about the Green Lantern, or know the comic I was buying meant I had only just heard about a title that had been out for years, like some poser. Of course, none of the employees were like that. In fact they had many helpful suggestions. I know my insecurities aren't something everyone who gets into comics "later in life" experiences, however I know I'm also not alone.

And this is one of the many reasons I think digital comics are going to open a lot of doors for readers. Instead of looking at it from the viewpoint of a publisher, writer, or artist, you need to look at it, as a reader.

Say there's a teenager who keeps hearing about some comic, via a newsfeed, word of mouth, or because it was what some movie he just saw was based on. Do you think he's going to go to a comic book store for the first time in his life, and nervously seek out said title? I don't know, but I'd wager not likely. However, if from the privacy of his own home, he can download a first issue for $1.99, or better yet for free, then you might have not only found a reader for said comic, but a reader for a lot of comics, for life. He may love the comic so much, he races out to buy the TPB, and he might bring a friend.

What if you're interested in comics, but you live in some hick-town, and only go to the city a few times a year? Wait, there are readers outside of the metropolis? Yeah, and there could be a lot. Kids get bored, that's why the liquor and video game industry is booming. Yes, they have the option of buying titles from various websites on the internet - and not to negate online stores - but you have to pay for shipping, and wait for sometimes many weeks. The further the buyer seems from their purchase, the less likely they are to make it. Buying an e-issue for half-price online means instant gratification at a discount. Not only that, but if people really get on board with this, you can try out comics from all over the globe, without ever leaving your shack in the woods.

I don't own an iPad, iPhone, or any other type of smart technology, so I can't comment on overseas downloading rates. However, I do have a laptop. And if I were to travel overseas for a month or two, I would bring it. No matter where I am in the world, because of comics going digital, I could still keep up with all of my favorite titles while I'm away. If I want to buy them when I get back, then I will, but there's no reason to miss out while on vacation.

Not only that, but thanks to smart phones there's now a visual element to word of mouth . If hypothetical reader is out with his friends, and mentions this "cool vampire comic by so and so", his friends are far more likely to pick up an e-copy while sitting with him, or remember the comic for later purchase, if the reader busts out his iphone and shows them what he's talking about. This is good for the hypothetical reader's vampire-loving friends, as well as the creator of said vampire comic.

Still, this is heavily weighted on the readers side. So really, what about me, the creator/publisher?

I hate to break it to you, but your comic could already be digital, and you just don't know it. All it takes is a scanner. A friend of mine, one of the greatest downloaders of our generation, actually sent me torrents of a few comics he thought I might be interested in checking out. They weren't uploaded by the publisher. (As a sidenote, I don't do this as general practice nor do I condone it, my buddy just came across some links and thought I'd enjoy them).

Yes, there will always be scammers, downloaders, etc, and they will always find a way to get what they want for free. So why not make it easier for them? Put your work online, give them what they want. Instant gratification. For the super-hacks they'll find it for free anyway, for the ones that would rather not spend an hour scouring the net for something they could have for $1.99, they'll click once, and pay you. But if it comes down to "looking on the internet for a free pdf" vs "driving an hour, in the winter, to the comic book store", you may lose the money if your lazy reader doesn't have a paid online option.

The reason that comic downloading isn't the problem that it is for novels, movies, and music is because it's a niche market. Like everyone else who loves comics knows, there is nothing like holding a comic in your hands when you read it. Once someone has read a 300 page novel pdf, they aren't likely to go out and buy a hardcopy so it can sit on their shelf collecting dust, unless they love it. True fans of movies may still go out and buy the DVD of a movie they loved even after downloading it (usually with the promise of DVD extras or special packaging), but they won't for a movie that they downloaded for free and thought sucked. Music? Well, the music industry is kinda fucked in the downloading sector. But musicians have evolved. Though they still sell records, they make a good chunk of their money (I assume) through touring, appearances, endorsements, merch, and commercial royalties.

Same could go for comics; if your comic doesn't blow someone's mind, then I doubt they'll go out and buy it hardcopy. But as a general rule, you want to see the art in person if you like it. It's kind of hard to read on your computer/iphone, even with those cool interactive thingies. And if you print it out on a super-spec printer, it'll probably cost more than the comic itself. But if you read the comic, one issue, or all issues, and you truly love it, you'll go buy it, and show it off on your bookshelf. That's the difference between toe-dippers and diving-board jumpers, and toe-dippers aren't going to negatively effect your sales, because they were never going to buy your comic in the first place.

Sell-outs. What happens if you sell out of print copies? How many sales are you losing by not having your comic in a particular store, at any given time? Your reader will either patiently wait, or say "nah, fuck it", and won't think twice about your comic. If only your comic was available online.

What about the creator who is just starting out? He doesn't make any money from his comic, and how the fuck is he supposed to with all this digital bullshit?

Unlike The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo novels, and Michael Bay movies, your comic and name probably aren't as well-known. Do you spend money on PR for your comic? How do you promote yourself? Putting your comic online, for a small fee, or for free, is probably the best PR you can do. If your comic becomes viral, so does your name. And that's when the big guys take notice, and that's when, hopefully, you'll get a paycheque.

Sure, it's a gamble, but I think it's a worthwhile one. If you never get published by anyone other than yourself, there are other ways to make money. Some examples are the dude who makes Dinosaur Comics - whom I've heard (although pure hearsay) supports himself nicely on merchandise. The Penny Arcade guys offer their comics for free, but they make money in ad-placement, merch, and who knows what else.

I think comic-creators, also stand to learn something from the authors of novels. Unlike the novel-writing community, the comic community has NO stigma about self-publishing. You can do it without being shaked and baked, and this is GREAT NEWS! You can use the successful models of other creators, free of shame! (For the record, I'm all for self-publishing novels.)

There's the David Wong phenomenon of John Dies at the End. At first he e-published a free serial, uploading chapters every time he finished one onto his website (much like the webcomic formula). Then he put it all together into an e-book, for free, and received 70 000 downloads (imagine if he had charged .99 cents per download!) Then it got picked up by a "real" publisher, and now it's being made into a movie. Yeah, this guy had to wait, but he also decided he had something worth showing the world, and did it.

As well as that, I think comic-creators should think about free bonus material. The web is a great way for you to say thanks to your fans. Why not? If you start making a bit of money, post some free comics every now and then. Listen to your fans; is there a character they particularly like, but you know will never get their own published comic? Then do a short one-shot just for the net. Do people ask you how you draw? Why not make a video a la Skottie Young? The web is a great tool for you to build a strong connection with your fans, and freebies make your fans happy. Take a look at how Kelley Armstrong (author of the Otherworld series, and a huge success) says thanks to her fans.

Probably the biggest benefit of digital publishing for starting-out creators, is the money. How much is it going to cost you to print your comics if you don't have a publisher? Versus how many actually sell? Do you make your money back? How do you get your comics out there? Do you trudge around to various comic stores and ask if they'll let you grace their 2-foot-by-1-foot space allotted for indie specials, probably on consignment? Don't hold your breath for that $12 cheque you may receive in about six months. You can sell hardcopies online, sure, but that still costs money. Or, you can spend no money, upload your comic as a pdf, for sale on your website (so you see pure profit minus paypal fees), or via iTunes or Amazon. Yeah, they do take a cut, so price your comic accordingly. But remember, the more it costs, the more readers you stand to lose.

Here is a link to an article on the pricing/profits of comics online vs print.

What if you're already well-known, established, and don't need some hokey viral PR? You're wrong. You do. Because my thirteen-year-old cousin doesn't know who you are, or give a fuck about the four hundred titles you did with so and so, and most of your fans are getting up there themselves. But you don't have to listen to me, you can keep maintaining your fanbase, instead of jumping at an opportunity to expand it.

Where can I find online comics?
Both graphic.ly and comiXology have a nice variety of free and not-free comics.

Image also has a lootbag of first issue freebies here. You can find first issues of my favorites; The Sword, Girls, and The Walking Dead, as well as a number of others. Hell, it was the Girls free issue on the Image website that was my first introduction to the Luna Bros, which led me to buy every issue of Girls as well as Deluxe HC of The Sword. See, digital comics DO sell paper comics.

Are you a creator looking for more info and support on the subject? Check out Steve Niles' website, and this new one.

I was trying to think of some way to end this post with something poignant, or some shit. But what it really boils down to is telling your story, and getting it out to as many readers as possible. You can view digital as the enemy, or you can use it as a vehicle to ingratiate yourself with a new audience. Either way, it's coming.

The Sword of Pleasure, The Blade of Infinity

2011-01-20T20:57:00.001-05:00

Trying to stay on top of my blogging, so thought I'd take the opportunity to write about... stuff.

Luna Brothers' The Sword

Holy crap. These two guys make something happen. It's something I can't spell out for you, nor would I want to. It's magic. I've never lost myself so completely inside of a comic, to the point where I was unaware that I was actually reading a comic. I received my Deluxe HC Edition of The Sword this past week. It's big. It's heavy. And it makes me sigh every time I look at it. The fight/double-death K.O. scenes are FUCKING AMAZING. EVERYTHING is fucking amazing.

I also fell madly in love with Girls. It's a strange tale involving an impenetrable alien sperm sphere, egg-laying naked chicks, and very memorable townfolk. You really get a sense of the town, and the people, and all of these relationships. If my house was burning down, these comics would be top of my list to save. You can view a free first issue of The Sword, Girls, and Ultra on their website.

Black Swan
I'm sure you're all sick to death of hearing about this movie, however, I will say I've seen it three times (although only one of those viewings was legal). People that keep calling it a "sexual thriller" entirely missed the point. If you're not going to see it because you don't do "artsy" or "Natalie Portman" movies, you're robbing yourself.

Season of the Witch:
Some movies suck no matter how hard you want them not to suck. It had its moments, but none of them made up for the stupid parts.

Season two of V is starting off enjoyable. It's not blowing me away, but it's fun, campy, and hits the sweet spot. And I love Morena Baccarin as the sinister, alien, failed birth-mother of humanity's destruction. Kinda wish they'd reference the original for her wardrobe though. Shout out to the glamorous Jane Badler.

Fringe's last half of season three starts tomorrow night. I honestly am really worried it will get cancelled. This show is so good, please watch it. At least I can take solace in the fact that it looks like J.J. Abrams is preparing for the worst (or striving for the awesomest). His new show Alcatraz sounds to me like a combination of Lost and Fringe. Glad to hear Jorge Garcia is going to be back in J.J.'s hands. I miss him. And I'm not complaining, but I will be sad if I don't get my weekly dose of Walter.

Apparently Supernatural is on the list to get renewed for a seventh season, which would be awesome. Fingers crossed, or wait for this (except this will be my face):

It's okay Jared, there's room for one more. *Pat. Pat.*

Movies I'm pumped for:

DON'T BE AFRAID OF THE DARK
Even this trailer scared the shit out of me. So glad Katie Holmes is returning. I've always liked her, despite her poor life choices. Hoping this remake lives up to the trailer.

THE CABIN IN THE WOODS
JOSS WHEDON!!!!

THE WARD (John Carpenter + lesbian sex-bomb Amber Heard):

VANISHING ON 7TH STREET
I'll be honest, not the hugest fan of Christensen, and this movie does seem a bit End of Days meets The Happening, but I'm interested.

Spielberg's sci-fi series Falling Skies

My Top 20 Whatever the Hell I Likes of 2010

2010-12-21T15:40:00.059-05:00

In order of what popped into my head first.
(p/s - boner alert)

1 PIRANHA 3D (2010) (in particular, the death scenes)
Hands down, favorite movie of the year.

2 EDGE OF DOOM by Steve Niles
So far, there have only been 2 issues out, nevertheless, it's everything I could ever want in a comic. The writing and the art (Kelley Jones) work so well together, capturing the perfect tone. A new story every issue means you can just pick it up any time. But I highly recommend the first two. I was squeaking/laughing out loud on the subway, reading the first one. Think Evil Dead meets Twilight Zone meets the ending of Sleepaway Camp with a sprinkling of MST3K. The third one comes out mid-January.

3 PREDATORS
You will enjoy this movie, you know, unless your movie of choice for 2010 is something like Knight and Day. Then you can just go fuck yourself. I can't really pick a favorite part (ok - well, the de-spining ranks high on the scream-o-meter), but if I had to, it would be seeing Laurence Fishburne wrap himself up like a babushka, and lie down in his sleep nook. Did anyone else find that part as funny as I did? Sigh. It's the little things.

4 SPLICE
Did you see it? You need to see it. I can't brace you for it. No one can.

5 IAN SOMERHALDER in THE VAMPIRE DIARIES
I'll just come out, and openly admit I watch the show. No secrets; I'm in too deep. It satisfies the same part of my brain that is occupied by teenage boy-crazy thoughts and make-up tips. It's got a bit of a Joey, Pacey, Dawson triangle going on. IAN SOMERHALDER HAS THE EYES OF A WOLF!

6 FRINGE
I love this show. Last season I got a little too worked up about it, but it was a really good season. And I'm finding season three even better. Poor Bizarro-Broyles. Is it just me, or is Olivia more likable with auburn hair? Thoughts? Comparisons?
Fox has moved Fringe to the dreaded Friday night time slot (see video below: amazing). Just stay in, and enjoy Fringe and Supernatural on the weekend. If not for me, then for your liver. Do you really need anymore beer and blackout sex? Wouldn't you much rather enjoy a sci-fi, paranormal thrillride of a Friday night, without gaining four pounds or catching another case of crabs?

7 HACK/SLASH by Tim Seeley
Although it's been out for a long time, I had never heard about it, which brings me to my knees. HACK/Slash is kind of my wet dream in comic book format. A girl and her super-ugmo bff, go around whacking serial killers ("slashers") across the country - throw in some sorority lesbianism, re-animation, satanic groupie murders, and you've pretty much made my life. If you like horror movies, especially the teen slasher variety, or even Buffy, and you're a comic reader, or looking to read comics - get this one. You can buy the omnibus's (omnibusi?). Technically I like the second one better (I really loved all of the Emily Stone drawn issues), but both are definitely worth reading, and number three comes out TODAY!

8 THE WALKING DEAD TV SHOW
I was pretty happy with the season, although I wish it had explored certain characters more in depth, and Mr. Jones and son would've made at least one more appearance (they had the most touching story! Why weren't they in it beyond one episode?). But it did only have six episodes to work within, so I think it did a good job. I think most people that have complained about it, don't get that it's a drama set in a zombie wasteland, and not a zombie TV show with humans in it. I'm trying not to compare it to too much to the (awesome) comic, because I think it's probably going to do quite a bit of its own thing. Hoping for more Rooker, Reedus, Yeun, and Lennie James. More Lennie James! (Remember how good Jericho was?)

9 SALT & VINEGAR KETTLE CHIPS: CHIP OF THE YEAR
Man, I hate paying for this shit, it's so expensive. But it has that same level of saltiness homemade play-dough does. It just hits all those salty notes, and leaves you panting for more (and some water).

10 iFANBOY PODCASTS
Ever since I recently re-discovered podcasts, I've been putting this on as my background for drawing. It makes me not feel as lonely, or maybe it makes me feel lonelier, but they're fun to listen to. I don't necessarily read all of the titles they love to pimp, but it's really informative, has good suggestions, and these guys are fucking passionate.

11 ELI ROTH BECOMING SINGLE AGAIN
Is that a rude thing to make a Top 20? Probably. But inside every tear of sadness, is a tiny rainbow of shimmering happiness. Just remember that.
Look, Eli's pointing; "You, Larissa Thomas, I want you."

12 THE ENDING OF SPARTACUS
Which I know I've already written about on this blog, so I won't go there again. But know this; it was a soap opera bloodbath of naked proportions.

13 MIKE PERKINS' ILLUSTRATIONS FOR THE STAND

Man, I love his art. I want to lick his art. If I had any control over how I drew/inked (I really don't), I would do it this way. The Stand comics first came out in 2008 with Captain Trips.

As a Stephen King fan (who's not a Stephen King fan?), I like that he's had his hands in comics for a while. I also enjoy the Dark Tower comic series.

14 SHANE WEST ON NIKITA (aka panty-pudding material for miles)
At first I was kind of like, "why the fuck would they remake that stupid show?" Granted I didn't really watch the original, but when a bunch of my shows were off-air for two weeks, I made a little time for Nikita 2010. Now I'm hooked. The show's not amazing, but it's not bad either. And Devon Sawa has been in a couple of episodes. DEVON SAWA. You know you're going to be hanging by your blue balls (uhh... lips?) until Nikita and young but rugged Agent Michael get it on. Either that, or he'll screw Alex, and Nikita will tearfully look on, thus prolonging the inevitable after-combat freakfest. Please, just someone get it on with Shane West so that I can watch.

15 JONNY LEE MILLER ON DEXTER
I just really like Jonny Lee Miller; he's got something about him. Unfortunately, they wrapped this season up just like every other; villain dead, Dexter missed being caught by the skin of his teeth, yadda, yadda. Plus, after hearing all of this Dexter divorce drama, if any news comes out that Jennifer Carpenter is off the show, I'll have to stop watching. Deb is my favorite character by a landslide (although Masuka holds a firm second, and Quinn a solid third)... I guess this isn't really a "top" of 2010, but it was on my mind, haha.

16 SUPERNATURAL
This is one of my all-time favorite shows - of all-time. But the newest season has kind of - I don't want to say "stunk", but it has kind of, up until the last few episodes. It felt as if the show had completely started over again, and was missing its soul (just like Sammy!). However, it seems to have regained its footing, and I'm pretty pleased with the direction season six is headed. It's gotten its magical mojo back. Plus the Winchesters are still hot. I'm just glad it's still on air. PLEASE DON'T EVER LEAVE ME!!!!

18 WINONA RYDER BUZZ
Is she making a comeback? Please make a comeback. I think if you were born in the late 70s/early 80s, you can't help but feel the love for her. She was a demi-god when I was a pre-puber. I really want to see Black Swan, especially after seeing this sexxed-up vid (which is totally unrelated to Winona). I really hope she starts doing her trademark darker stuff. Damn! I heard they were making a new Alien movie! Even though it's a prequel, technically Winona can't exist as a cyborg, or can she? Maybe as the model for the model? I'm just rambling now. They should put her in it. (You gotta admit, Alien: Resurrection is still the fuckin' S-H-I-T.)

19 "I JUST HAD SEX" VIDEO
Yes, this video was just put up the other day, but I've been looping it since. I love the Lonely Island videos. I think my favorite is still Jizz in My Pants. But doesn't this song just make you so happy? Plus the really cute one directed MacGruber. "Well, just to let you know, your shit does stink. *sniff* And it stinks like shit." Hahahahahaha. Still funny.

20 RON ARTEST COMING TO A SHOW I WAS IN! (but regretfully could not attend)
He looks at my drawing! Look, he looks at my drawing! Although he seems to have an expression of "oh....kaaaaaay... What is that?" on his face. Haha. It was really great that he showed up, and from what I've heard everyone that went had an awesome time. And it was all thanks to Manale and McNally! Way to go guys!

TBJ: Ron Artest crashes Ron Artest exhibit from The Basketball Jones on Vimeo.

I'll be honest, my b-ball fandom comes via my boyfriend (who is a complete basketball NUT... I won't embarrass him by further embellishing, but trust). He took me to a Raptors game, and I LOVED IT! But I don't watch that stuff on TV. Remember Double Team? Maybe Ron Artest should be in an action movie. I'd see it.

I realize there are a lot of other things I enjoyed in 2010, however this post is likely to crash a few computers, so I'll try and wrap up:

COMICS
Choker by Ben McCool and Ben Templesmith: a dark, detective-in-grimy-underbelly-of-city series with otherworldly elements. It's pretty funny in a dirty old man kind of way (my favorite), and very enjoyable. I highly recommend picking it up.

Dead@17 by Josh Howard: girl is murdered, then comes back to life to fight the forces of evil. If it's not already obvious, I'm a quick sell on anything with an evil-kicking, female protagonist. But this is a fun read, it's not too dark, and has a bit of romance.

I also read a number of adaptation comics. There are so, so many I want. But this year a standout one for me was Supernatural: Rising Son (even though it came out last year). I really enjoyed it, and if you're a fan of the show, you will too. (Sexy daddy Winchester fun-times).

MOVIES
Devil

Knowing what I know to expect from a Shyamalan film, I went into this expecting a morality tale, with a circular resolution, and a bit of a "fairy tale feel" to it. Which is exactly what I got. I really enjoyed it. It wasn't too dark, and it wasn't too preachy, but it was a little bit predictable. I thought it wove mystery, superstition, and ethics quite well. It had some suspenseful bits. If you're thinking of watching it, I'd definitely check it out. But if you're expecting horror, it's not what you'll get.

The Last Exorcism
I wasn't sure what to expect from the trailers. I enjoyed this a lot. Because I had read up on it before I saw it, my mind was more focused on "is she possessed, is she not possessed?" than what was really going on. Which is, I suppose what the point was. So I was surprised by the ending - which I won't spoil for you. It had a Paranormal Activity meets House of the Devil feel to it at times, but it was wholly original. Ashley Bell was pretty amazing. I'd definitely recommend seeing this.

Things I didn't enjoy in 2010:
Resident Evil: Afterlife
How was this made? How did it gross more than the first three? HOW? WHY? The first and second ones were awesome! I like to enjoy them over and over. The third one, I didn't finish watching, so I can't comment on. But this... this movie was A FUCKING ATROCITY.

I'm sure there were many other things about 2010 I have not enjoyed, such as my newish food sensitivities, but I won't bore you.

2011 has long been a dreaded year for me, because it represents turning "that age". Blackening the horizon of my young life, soon to turn it withered, and grey; ruching my skin, tarnishing my glow. But, I decided I will own 2011, ride it bareback into hell with nothing but a Pool Noodle and a leather turkey baster.

Ron Artest: Vampire Hunter

2010-12-16T18:08:00.001-05:00

Here's an illustration I did for the Ron Artest show this Saturday at Narwhal.
Yeah... the first one I did was a lot better, until I wrecked it while I was painting! So here is my scrambled together, new version!

Ron Artest: Vampire Hunter

If you think it's disappointing digitally, you should see it in person! But if basking in my disgrace isn't enough of a reason, there are a lot of awesome artists that participated in it - such as Darwyn Cooke!! Michael Cho!! Woah woah! (Plus I kind of copied them with the whole yellow instead of grey thing...) Rory Dean, and many more! And it promises to be a fun night with a lot of boogie-ing, plus they're giving away free tix to see the Lakers vs The Raptors on Sunday. So thanks to Steve Manale for organizing it, he's also another talented artist on board. (Where do all these jerks come from?)

And yes, I am aware there is about two meters of space between the stake and the vampire, and no, it wasn't a style choice. Ahhh, hindsight.

Uh, can I also just rob you of another moment of your time to ask, did anyone see the ending of Skyline (2010)? WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?

The Scares

2010-11-26T19:19:00.001-05:00

Here are three pages from the first issue of a comic I've been working away at. It's called The Scares. Though I'd say it's probably only moderately scary, if even.
Just wanted to give you a little taste. Did it make your mouth pucker? Your tongue sweat? Yeah, I thought you'd like that.

More Illustrations

2010-11-01T11:38:00.013-04:00

A couple more illustrations from some of my favorite movies. I kind of can't stop doing it now. Does this count as fan art? Should I be embarrassed? A couple more to come later this week.

This one is from Return of the Living Dead... I just really wanted to draw Linnea Quigley's ass, and since you see a lot of it throughout the movie, I felt it was relevant.

This one is from Night of the Comet.

I guess maybe two of you are wondering what happened to my online comic. I needed breathing space from it. I spent over eight months writing it as a novel, and then haphazardly began throwing it together as a comic. Which wasn't a good idea. I originally started it to learn how to write, with the intention of always turning it into a comic. However it became it's own monster, and now I have to do a severe amount of pruning.

While I've been away from Wilder, I've been working on two other comic scripts, their layouts, and final pages. I'm really excited about both of them, and can't wait to post something when they're more finalized.

New Illustration (ZOMBAYS)

2010-10-28T12:13:00.000-04:00

Here's an illustration of KickAss Annie I did for Annie Koyama of Koyama Press. (I've obviously caught The Walking Dead fever. Sorry guys, but it looks like zombies are BACK! Can't wait to see the TV show!) She's responsible for putting out comics by a lot of really amazing artists like Michael DeForge and Christopher Hutsul.

Comic updates coming soon.

Oh Hallowed Ween

2010-10-26T15:31:00.014-04:00

In honor of Halloween, here is an illustration I did a couple days ago of a scene from one of my favourite movies - Ginger Snaps 2 - Unleashed.

I've been doing a few illustrations of this nature, so I'll do a post with them all soonish.

I've decided to recall a time when Halloween, thus horror, held true magic for me: puberty.
As an ode to my pubescent years, here are a few things that made me what I am today. If you ever had any shred of doubt about how uncool I am, kiss it goodbye.
(Couldn't find the photo of me as a dead cheerleader for Halloween, so here's me going through the My So-Called Life phase, aged 13 or 14):

MY TOP FIVE GODS AS A PRE-TEEN/TEEN:

R.L. Stine: I kinda ditched Stine as soon as my pubic hair started sprouting (that's a lie), however his books are what I cut my teeth on, and gave me a taste for blood. I think I inhaled every single book in his Fear Street series. I used to wait every month for a new book to come out at the local bookstore (or it seemed they came out that often). I think the first one I read may have been The Baby-Sitter. I had a really terrible habit of reading the last chapter first with these books, no idea why. I couldn't take the painful suspense maybe?

Between Stine and Pike, I think pretty much every single concept for any kind of horror movie involving teenagers has already been covered. I wish my dad hadn't given all my old books away. Sigh, nostalgia.

Christopher Pike: Where did you go? Legions of modern teens are being deprived. As a teenager I always thought he was the thinking man's R.L. Stine (which actually just translated to longer books, smaller font, and more nudity). So while everyone was still reading Stine I was feeling pretty smart. The first book of his I ever read was Witch. We moved when I was in grade eight, everyone at school hated me, so I used to read his books in the library during lunch hour. Bittersweet memories I suppose.

Also worth mentioning is THIRTEEN (13), which contained short stories by both above authors. It was the seminal collection of teen scares in the early 90s, in my humble opinion.

Stephen King: I devoured anything and everything Stephen King. I think I discovered his books in grade 7. Instantly became obsessed. I'm pretty sure I've read everything he's ever written pre-1998. But I also remember some of his best work being his non-horror stories; most notably The Body.

Joss Whedon: When Buffy aired on TV in 1997, I stopped needing friends.

Dean Koontz: Horror AND two page sex scenes per book. Need I say more? I remember being convinced Dragon Tears was the best thing I had ever read when I was in grade eight. I believe it was about a cop, a homeless woman, a man made of rats, and maybe something about freezing time.

MY FIRST FIVE HORROR MOVIES:

Cujo: It was my eleventh birthday party, and I was allowed to rent one movie "of my choice". This was the movie. I also remember we put water balloons in our training bras because we thought some boys were going to come. None did. But we were crawling up the walls and hiding in the bathroom this movie scared us so badly.

Bram Stoker's Dracula: My best friend turned twelve and was allowed to rent BOTH Dracula AND Mikey (unbelievable!). I loved Dracula so much (cuz of the werewolf-who's-really-a-vampire sex scene, obvs) that I got up super early in the morning to watch it again.

Mikey: I haven't seen this since that first time, all I remember was some kid kept getting adopted and torching/knifing his folks. Luckily because the kid was the monster, it didn't leave any lasting scars.

The Evil Dead(but I can't remember which one): I was in grade seven at a friend's house, and it was the middle of winter. Not only did I have nightmares for weeks after watching this, but her dad drove us out on his Ski-Doo to somewhere in their expansive forest (90 acres) when it was dark, then pretended the Ski-Doo broke down, told us to get off, and left us there. The whole long walk back I cried and screamed at every bunny-hop, while she maintained Patrick Batemen-level cool. My parents soon after stopped letting me hang out at her house. But not before my tiny eyes were traumatized by:

It: I was just so relieved that Jonathan Brandis didn't get eaten by an alien glow-spider.

This photo was taken over a week ago. Dinner and a movie (Army of Darkness). Much like what I do every night since moving to Montreal. Definitely not complaining.

Updates

2010-09-30T22:04:00.000-04:00

This is a still shot of the animation I'm doing for Bill Plympton's Guard Dog Global Jam.

Really happy to be a part of it. He's been a huge influence on me since I discovered him. Bill Plympton's animations are pretty crazy and amazing. If you've never seen any, I strongly suggest checking them out. You can see a lot of clips on his website.

Haven't updated my webcomic this past week because I'm in the process of moving to Montreal. But will post on twitter when it's updated. Thanks to all two of you that make it a worthwhile endeavor!
Still working out color issues as you can see.

Artist Smack!

2010-09-13T19:37:00.003-04:00

Hey to all you artists and creative types,

My friends Jaclyn and Jason, based out of Brooklyn, NY, have created a website for you to post your paintings/photography/sculpture - whatever you deem art-worthy.

You'll be critiqued by your peers and encouraged to critique them in return. Plus get your chance to voice your opinions on recent art shows you've seen and post listings to your upcoming shows.

If you used to sneak in super late to painting class on crit days, or your art just plain sucks, maybe don't join. But if you're looking for feedback and to be part of an online artist community - do it!

Plus Team J & J are really nice people and awesome artists.

ARTISTSMACK.COM

Riveting thoughts, and other lies

2010-09-07T00:13:00.034-04:00

It's about time I update this shit with some edge-of-the-seat riveting thoughts.

Went to see Piranha 3D. It may be too early to cast the vote, since I still have yet to see Scott Pilgrim, The Last Exorcism (Have you seen the chatroulette video promo? Wow... at first I was unsure of this movie, until I read more about it. Definitely stoked to see it.), and Machete. But yeah, P-3D: MOVIE OF THE YEAR. Way better than the original (sorry Joe Dante!). It was like every 80's B horror death scene orgasm in one movie. GAH!!!

Also, if you haven't already seen it, check out Mother. It was really moving, which I don't say often. I enjoyed it.

There are rumors of a new Evil Dead movie, and an Evil Dead remake!? If the rumors weren't also that Sam Raimi is still on board for both, I'd probably feel a little queasy over it. Man, do I love Sam Raimi.

They're coming out with a Jeepers Creepers 3? I don't know what it is about that series, but it freaks me out. I can't watch that shit. I remember seeing the first one with my lil' sis. During one of the terrifying scenes, the power in our house went out, and I may or may not have started crying. I had to sleep on the floor of her room all night... I was twenty years old for clarification.

Speaking of crying, things that almost made me recently:

- Missing Eli Roth's Q&A at Festival of Fear this summer.
- Accidentally dying my hair really dark (almost black) over the roots that have taken me almost a year to grow out. (I know, shed a private tear for me. No one's looking.)

Things I'm looking forward to:

- MOVING! To Montreal! In approx 3 weeks. The Summer of Exile has almost come to an end! I'm so excited; dirt cheap rent, cutest apartment, and there is an awesome market nearby. As well as tons of sleazy looking strip joints. Life is great! It will be so nice to be re-united with my DVD collection (BUFFY, I MISS YOU!), comics, and clothes that aren't a bagged-out grey t-shirt, and stained blue jeans.

... Well I guess that's about it!

Things for you to check out:
- JACLYN's new site
- RORY's new paintings
- Look I know, I know, I don't even like anime, except sometimes I do. But just to add another layer to my disgusting obsession, there is going to be a Supernatural anime. Yes. Punch me the next time you hear me talking about this show.
- SANDMAN may become a TV show!!!?!?!?!!!
- Some comics I want to read; always awesome Steve Niles' upcoming Edge of Doom, I still have yet to read Wilson (what kind of a superfan am I?), and this webcomic that I've grown to really enjoy, The Zombie Hunters, is being published.
- HAIR HIGH!. Now on sale at Bill Plympton's website. I've been waiting a pretty long time for this. I'm so glad it's finally available for purchase.

I guess that's it.
Oh yeah, and I saw a baby bear in our hundred-acre backyard today.

TOMORROW I KILL IT.

Peace out y'all!

My Vurry Own Website

2010-08-28T21:17:00.000-04:00

Please check it out.
Link it.
Send it to your friends!
Do what you will with it in the privacy of your own room. It's yours for the taking!

larissa-thomas.com

A new page every Friday: WILDER the webcomic.

What is it?
It's a supernatural teen(ish) thrill-ride with main character Lenore Wilder, and a cast of supporting characters. Keep checking back for swills, chills, and eventually a hot and heavy sexy-ish scene. Oh yeah, and death, there's quite a bit of death.

COMING SOON

2010-08-11T04:07:00.000-04:00

Website trailer

2010-08-06T19:40:00.001-04:00

Attempt number... uh... well I've lost count. Took it into my own hands. Right. On. larissa-thomas.com.

Stockpile your Depends, Tostitos, fake cheese and KY.
COMING SOON.
(A few weeks).

The Devil Machete'd Your Gatoroid Sharktovampire

2010-07-29T14:15:00.021-04:00

Some movies to keep your eyes peeled like skinless grapes for.

DEVIL (2010)
Say what you will about M. Night Shyamalamadingdong, but I usually like his movies. I loved The Sixth Sense, Unbreakable, Signs (although I don't think I'll be able to feel the same way about the loving father Mel Gibson character), The Village, and yes, even Lady in the Water (although it took re-watching it to feel this way). I didn't really like The Happening, but it never stood a chance due to poor casting choices. And no, I haven't seen The Last Airbender.

What I think DEVIL has going for it, is that M. Night is creator of the "story" and nothing else. It's an interesting concept, oh yeah and it stars Bokeem Woodbine.

MACHETE (2010)

Do I even need to explain?

MEGA PYTHON VS. GATOROID
So there's a lesbian porn being released soon, starring your two favourite eighties crushes - Tiffany and Debbie Gibson (sorry, Deborah Gibson). Oh wait I didn't mean porn, I meant something even better. A movie about them facing off with sea serpents and shit. There is no official trailer yet (just clips that don't work on my computer), but here is a taste of what's to come:

But wait, do you feel it isn't quite sexy enough? Let go of the emptiness inside, because the light at the end of the tunnel is Eric Roberts (who really is awesome) on subscription television:
SHARKTOPUS (2010)

Also looking forward to James Gunn's super-hero comedy Super. Starring, wait for it, Nathan Fillion, Rainn Wilson, Liv Tyler AND Kevin Bacon! What is not to like? Looking forward to the next movie by the creator of Slither. A great movie, there are some really hilarious/amazing scenes, including one of my favourite scenes in a horror movie:

Trailer for 30 Days of Night: Dark Days, you can catch this on DVD in October.

Steve Niles also has a shit ton of awesome comics to read as well, if you're interested (and you should be): Steve Niles Omnibus.

American remake of Let The Right One In.
LET ME IN (2010)

Looks like they're making a horror movie version of Little Red Riding Hood starring Amanda Seyfried.

I'm pretty hooked into Work of Art. I usually end up rolling my eyes at least six times per episode, but I'm loving it. I hope there is a season two. I'm pretty sad they kicked Ryan off, but he didn't fit; he's the least pretentious and actually has a sense of humor. It would be a super awesome idea if they made one for comic creators, and then I was on it. Submit that request to Bravo.

My Kelley Armstrong workshop was pretty fantastic I must say. I loved my classmates and my teacher. Her now book Waking the Witch was just released in the states, and is released in Canada August third (my birthday!). You should all check it out.
Here's hoping all my writing will result in either an awesome first book in a series of novels, or an awesome first in a series of graphic novels.

Practice Makes Perfect... Eventually

2010-07-03T18:44:00.000-04:00

Although Flash is almost obsolete at this point...

Here are a few short animation-related videos, that I did in 2008 and 2009, while trying to learn Flash. Unfortunately blogger minimized the crap out of the quality.

First attempt at Flash, for a MoreProof party in 2008. Hand drawn, inked on paper, cleaned up in Photoshop.

This was the unfinished product of my fan-girl fantasy of making a Flash Buffy NES inspired game. Was trying to teach myself a little bit of coding. All done in Flash, 2008.

Attempt at animating facial expressions. All drawn, coloured and animated in Flash, 2009. Not sure exactly what I was going for. But this guy doesn't look like he's having the best time. Maybe he got stopped at the airport for suspicious behaviour.

This is testing out motion tweening in Flash, 2009. It's pretty lame, but also kind of funny. He's uh, not very good at flying. I made the owl out of simple shapes in Flash, all coloured in Flash as well.

Total Eclipse of the Bone

2010-06-30T18:33:00.004-04:00

Going to see Eclipse this week. Yes, still another Twilight movie without intercourse. And yet, I keep watching. When they finally do it in Breaking Dawn, Cineplex is going to have to lay down plastic on all the seats. This much sexual tension can't be good for young girls.

(No I didn't make that image)
And in case you're Team Edward, you might want to click this link to see evidence that suggests, the real reason he's holding out.

Will be in Toronto next week (What? You're not in Toronto right now? No.) for my workshop with Kelley Armstrong. She's the author of the well-known The Otherworld books, and the YA Darkest Powers series. Gotta say, I'm pretty pumped. This year is going by so fast. Soon I wrap up my creative writing course with Richard Scrimger, author of Me & Death: An Afterlife Adventure. I feel so grateful for everything good that's come my way this year. I'm at a Fork, and it's not the one filled with glittery vampires. Har, har. (Or is it Forks?) And then it's off to finding an apartment in Montreal for September. And uh, then I guess I better learn some french.

After my first day of class, I'm going to walk up to Bloor Cinema to watch Mother. Written and directed by South Korean Bong Joon-ho, the same guy who wrote and directed The Host. The Host is one of my favourite films. And I do not like sub-titles.

Wanted to give a quick review of Splice. It's one part V.C. Andrews (you know you read that shit when you were fourteen), one part science fiction and one part eighties B movie. Definitely worth watching if that sounds good to you. I enjoyed it. Couldn't speak for about five minutes after leaving the theatre, but a solid movie in the genre.

And finally, I'm sure you've all seen it by now, the video of Chris Brown pretending to cry in front of a huge audience (at the B.E.T.'s? I don't know. Something us whities aren't fameelyar with). Whether it's a case of being a shitty singer and trying to find a way around it, faking tears to portray himself as sensitive after pulverizing a woman's face, or because he's got a dick the size of a coffee bean. Who cares? The bottom line is that he cried while choking out the odd word to Man in the Mirror. We all know you can sing and cry. Who hasn't seen a season finale of American Idol? What makes Chris Brown's pain any more debilitating? If you don't already hate the guy as much as the rest of the world does, fast-forward to the 4:30 mark.

What a fag.

GLAMOROUS COPYCAT: The Cindy Crawford Edition

2010-06-27T12:44:00.003-04:00

First let me get this out of the way: What the hell is this? James Franco's role in General Hospital is performance art? Give me a fucking break. And I guess there'll be a show next month at the Guggenheim featuring Josh Brolin's social commentary in Jonah Hex. See, this is what happens when people like Joaquin Phoenix are allowed to do whatever the hell they want.
Although what do I know, James did have a solo show way back in '06 at Glu Gallery. Still confused? Read James Franco's essay for The Wall Street Journal.

Back on topic.

Do you want to know how to look like a celebrity on the measly wage you make working on Queen St. West?
Let me show you how, with a photoshop collage and some product placement.

Subject One: Cindy Crawford
Secret of the Mole

Of course I don't mean today's Cindy Crawford. Come on, now she's an old hag that runs a home sensations company. I'm talking late eighties, early nineties Crawford. The one that took your breath away in an Outrageous commercial.

To make your look Cindy Crawford fresh, you will need the following:

First let's just address the elephant in the room, and the most pressing question of all. How do I get that mole?
Well there are several solutions.
1) Draw it on with eyeliner (liquid liner for a more refined effect).
2) Get a fake one. No joke. Hottiedots!. You can buy them in "Toasted Kiss" or "Chocolate Kiss". At first I laughed, but this actually looks kind of fun, like the pimple stickers in Girl Talk, except hotter.
3) Or as some anonymous advice giver online suggested; "glue a peppercorn to your face".

Sun-In (Optional) for some sun-kissing. Although lemon juice is even cheaper. Squeeze a little bit through your hair and sit in the sun for a while, you california girl.
Spray Tan A good friend of mine swears by Sally Hansen Airbrush Legs (also comes in Shimmer) - complete with sparkles - to cover up all sorts of unsightly's. It also has the added benefit of giving you the effervescence of a Stephenie Meyer vampire.
Outrageous shampoo. Not only do you want to look like Cindy, you also want to smell like her. And it's only, like, two bucks at Walmart.
Eyebrow Brush It might take you two months of no plucking and some testosterone injections to get brows that lush, so you can fake it a little by brushing upwards and filling them in with some makeup. I found this cute tutorial on youtube of how to make perfect brows.
Brown (or Plum) Eyeshadow You might want to go with Revlon for authenticity, however I'm a fan of the cheaper brands (Maybelline, Rimmel). And don't forget your shading basics.
Lipstick A brownish shade of red (like Rimmel Ballistic) or a more neutral colour (Rimmel Birthday Suit). If you can't figure it out, raid your mom's makeup bag for a colour reference.
Hairspray Flip your hair over, spray some aerosal around, blow dry it (yes even if it's not wet) and tease or fluff a little. I suggest Aussie Aussome Volume based on price and effectiveness, although it may overpower the floral prune scent of your Outrageous shampoo.
Metallic Bathing Suit Amidst all the scandal and sleaze, AA does still offer affordable metallic and 80's inspired bathing suits. (Just be sure to watch out for fecal matter).

And so concludes the first installment of Glamorous Copycat.

2010's Top Ten Celebrity Lust List (A Belated Valentine Confession)

2010-06-24T16:15:00.018-04:00

Incredibly belated, but here nevertheless. Only one celeb made the cut from last year's list.
In no particular order.

1. Megan Fox

Yeah that's right. Megan Fox. Again. Tanned, white as snow, twiggy and taut, or boobalicious and full of Restylane. She's the one. Jennifer's Body was awesome - don't doubt the irresistibility of a cannibal cheerleader. (And yes I own Jennifer's Body the graphic novel, and Jennifer's Body the YA novel). When Aubrey Plaza gave her speech on the MTV Awards this year, it was like my brain leaking on live television.

2. Aubrey Plaza

Speaking of, I've had a crush on her since I started watching Parks and Recreation. She's sassy.
Here's a video of her stand-up as Sarah Silverman.

3. Jensen Ackles

I watched Supernatural when it first came on, and fell in love. Then I moved, didn't get cable, didn't have my own computer, the DVDs were expensive, and that was that. Then all of these problems solved themselves. And Supernatural was back in my life. And so was Jensen Ackles. Along with flare pants. Come on guys, give Dean better jeans. However his eyes penetrate my soul like Extra Strength Bengay, and his throat-scratchingly deep voice (and I mean throat-scratching; that can't be natural) are too sexy to ignore.

4. Billy Burke

The Hot Dad from Twilight. Arguably Peter Facinelli is also The Hot Dad from Twilight, but I'm all country. Plaid shirt, stubble, mashed potatoes and a badge. Give it to me.

5. Kristen Stewart

I swear I'm not trying to plug Twilight. She's hot and I want her eyebrows. The whole I'm-not-angsty-I'm-just-misunderstood thing is kind of sexy. She's like the bad girl in high school that was cool because she didn't want to be. I don't know if she actually is a lez, but the rumors don't hurt. What, what?

6. Mary Elizabeth Winstead

Does anyone remember her in Wolf Lake (starring Lou Diamond Phillips!)? How bout that creepy makeout scene to Deftones in the dude from Vampire Diaries car? She's also been in a bunch of movies I like; Death Proof, the Black Christmas remake (maybe "like" is a strong word), and Final Destination 3 (and yes the word "like" is definitely appropriate). She's also in the soon to hit theaters Scott Pilgrim movie (set in Toronto! by Ontario-native comic artist! Bryan Lee O'Malley) and the in-production remake of/prequel to The Thing. Oh yeah, plus she's hot.
Scott Pilgrim VS. The World Trailer

7. Alexander Skarsgard

Fuckin' hell... There are so many photos of this guy's ass on the internet. And to think he played one of those gay models in Zoolander. I don't even know what the hell else he's in besides True Blood. Which by the way, is off to a great fucking start this season. I bet he gets so much pussy his dick is going to be condemned by the humane society. Girls, click this link to be taken to A-Skars showering to a techno version of a Fleetwood Mac song.

8. Joshua Jackson

I'm really glad he's had a career revival with Fringe. I can't really think of much else he's done that I've liked since his legendary role as Pacey Witter: Teacher Fucker. He seemed to be in every movie I watched in the 90s; Urban Legend, Cruel Intentions, Scream 2 , The Mighty Ducks, Apt Pupil, and The Skulls (technically 2000). Who didn't have a crush on him back then? Glad to say a decade later he's re-ignited the fire in my nethers that was senselessly put out by too much whining and Dawson Leery.

9. Katie Cassidy

Usually blonde, I swear I'm not biased, I just couldn't find any photos like this of her with her natural (usual?) hair colour.
She's in the upcoming Chris Carter movie Fencewalker, sadly no aliens. She won me over as Ruby in Supernatural. She starred in Harper's Island, the murder mystery series, which had one of those "the only way for you to see/the only way for us to be together is to kill everyone we know" endings. She also starred in Black Christmas (remake), When a Stranger Calls (remake), the new Freddy movie (remake), and the shit-canned Revenge of the Nerds (remake). And she's in Melrose Place (remake). I guess her track list doesn't look so hot after all. But hey we've all gotta pay the bills, and being Queen of the Remake isn't such a bad title. Plus I think she's a steady up-and-comer, and more importantly I like her.

10. Justin Bieber

Just kidding!

10. Jason Stackhouse... I mean Ryan Kwanten

He plays Jason Stackhouse amazingly. In fact, I'm kind of obsessed with everyone on that show; the actors and the characters they play. But anyway look at him. A quick google will reveal abs aplenty.

If you didn't make the list this year, it's because you're either:
A) Dating Peaches Geldof
B) Not as hot as Megan Fox
or
C) I don't even remember you from last years list.

Better luck next year!

Oh Shit It's a Photo Post (Toronto)

2010-06-15T16:33:00.003-04:00

Daniel Clowes was in Toronto for TCAF (promoting his new book Wilson). Unfortunately I had some kind of lung infection and didn't make the rest of the festival. But I was thrilled to see my idol give a talk about his work. I chickened out and didn't ask my question though.

2010: The Future is Movies

2010-06-03T16:36:00.006-04:00

Still haven't seen THE WILD HUNT, but want to. It's a horror/thriller about LARPing. Need I say more?

PREDATORS
Who doesn't want to see this?

Predator (Widescreen Collector's Edition)

PIRANHA 3-D
I can't fucking wait. I live for aquatic horrors. Christopher Lloyd, Richard Deyfruss, Eli Roth and Jerry O'Connell? It's so wrong that it's right. The only way it could be better is if Jennifer Love Hewitt played a scientist. There's something about a horror movie with tons of wet, horny teens that will never epically fail to deliver. Definitely a remake (Piranha 1978) worth watching.

SPLICE
You know, Sarah Polley used to come into my old work, and she would always him-and-haw over how expensive things were (ie: a $5 card). But I still love her, and I'm dying to see Splice. It looks like a hybrid of Species, The Fly and Dario Argento's almost unwatchably disturbing episode of Masters of Horror - Jenifer. Plus the dude who directed Cube directed this one. I think definitely worth seeing.

SUPER 8
JJ Abrams and Steven Spielberg. The teaser trailer definitely teases, but it looks to be about aliens. So right on. (Oh yeah, but it doesn't come out til 2011).

JONAH HEX
Of course I want to see this. It's based on a comic book (Jonah Hex: Origins), not that I've read it, and I have a total nippon for Megan Fox. Throw in a disfigured Josh Brolin, a supernatural western revenge storyline and I'm ready to line-up for a ticket. I'm about 50% sure it will suck, but then again I liked Clash of the Titans (2D).

CHAIN LETTER
As in based on the YA novel by Christopher Pike (Chain Letter)? I can't help but feel angry when I watch this trailer. It seems like an uncredited, updated version of said book I read in grade seven. I used to be obsessed with his books, as I'm sure a lot of girls back then were. He was my idol. And of course I want to watch it, but I will feel very guilty afterward.

SEASON OF THE WITCH
Yes it stars Nicholas Cage, but I think it looks pretty sweet. I like this whole jailed witch concept.

RAVENOUS
Starring Garret Dillahunt who played a creepy cyborg in The Sarah Connor Chronicles. Something about him playing a character that buys a bengal tiger is believable. I kind of just want to watch it because it's such a funny idea. It looks like a surreal Cujo.

ALTITUDE
Alright, this looks kinda terrible. I'm pretty sure I've already seen this story - underwater, however it is a teen supernatural thriller. And I love that shit.

Which brings us to THE LAST EXORCISM, the new Eli Roth produced movie. Eli Roth hasn't let me down so far in any of his carnations. But I don't know how I feel about what I've seen so far. I'm not sure if it's the way it's shot, the tone, the characters, or the concept, but I'm not feeling it. I like the idea of the main character - a rugged, hard-as-nails, travelin' exorcist but the trailer definitely wasn't a hard sell.

If you're looking for something with more of an oriental feel. How about:

BIG TITS ZOMBIE

or
WOMB GHOSTS, yeah that's right, WOMB GHOSTS

Being released on DVD this year (at least it looks like it should be) is the NIGHT OF THE DEMONS remake, starring Edward Furlong. It looks horrific but I will watch it. They even brought Linnea Quigley back. Night of the Demons 2 is one of my favourite low-budge horror movies ever.

One final thought, I can't end this post without first saying what absolute trash Shutter Island was. I have no idea if the movie closely followed the book, and I don't care. The whole concept basically hinged on the one thing that makes the worst ending in a movie - "it was all a dream/they made it all up". Oh he's insane? Really? Probably not as insane as I was to get my $12.50 back. A role-playing game with the whole hospital involved? There's suspension of disbelief and then there's drowning in not a fucking chance.
And don't even get me started on The Human Centipede. Most disgusting trailer I never want to watch again.

Season Finale Tamale

2010-05-29T13:49:00.006-04:00

SUPERNATURAL

Supernatural filled the hole that Buffy left behind. However, they filled it with guns, salt-filled ammo, and rock-hard pecs. And the second time always feels better.
It's a welcome reprieve from the over-abundant, erotic adventures in blood-sucking, to watch something based in the supernatural that focuses on Hell, soul possession, and arrogant angels.
I know I have a totally gross crush on Jensen Ackles, but that's not why I keep watching. This show has a balanced combination of heart, humor and scares. A few gut-wrenching season finales, and I guess I had higher expectations this time around.
Eric Kripke announced that he was signing off after season five (although there is going to be a season six, and he's going to sit back in the producer's chair), so I expected something a little more guns-a-blazing. I expected the ones that got killed to stay dead (at least until next season), although I didn't want any of them dead. I liked the whole deprivation of sound during pivotal moments, especially since part of the shows persona has always hinged on music. The Chuck story-telling thing was on the self-aware side but it wrapped the show up nicely, and wasn't out of place with the series. So all in all I was happy. Although it wouldn't have hurt to throw in some pre-apocalypse sex.
Supernatural: The Complete Fifth Season

LOST

WHAT A FUCKING LET DOWN. Really? No, really? Was that a joke? I know at least half the world was aching to see Kate or Jack get it, and I mean get it. Instead they skip the best part and cut straight to purgatory. What the fuck is that shit all about?
No one can deny it, when Lost was good, it was good. But the series has been meandering for a while. I really did expect them to pull a rabbit out of their ass-hat on this one. Almost anything would've been better than that ending. I'm still cleaning the bile-eroded popcorn kernels off the living room floor.
Lost: The Complete Sixth And Final Season

FRINGE

(Another JJ Abrams show)
Alright, this series has been a real rub and tug... I mean tug of war, for me. First I love the Walter character. He's one of the best characters on tv right now, or at least one of the most likable. I love Joshua Jackson, I love the whole X-Files bent, Leonard Nimoy (but those eye sockets are little distracting), and the whole "parallel universe" thing. Throughout both seasons some episodes are really on the mark, and some were such filler they may as well have "All Beef Hot Dog" stamped across them.
I felt as though the season finale was something that took too long to get to. I liked the hook at the end, although it was predictable. It's been picked up for season three, and I will definitely watch it, but I just hope that the show can keep the overall plot more closely in mind.
Fringe: The Complete Second Season

V (The Reimagined Series)

V: The Complete First Season
I was on board from day one. There were only twelve episodes but I feel that they delivered. I'm a fan of Morena Baccarin from back in her Firefly days, and Joel Gretsch was in The 4400. The finale fit well with the rest of the episodes and I look forward to season 2. If you haven't seen any of the 80s V stuff, you need to. Don't believe me? Just look down.

V: The Complete Series

SPARTACUS (Blood and Sand)

Best season finale of the year! If not the decade! Man what a fucking bloodbath!
With the second season on hold, I'm left wondering how the hell they can even come back from that ending.
In the beginning I was not sold at all. The visual effects looked like their summer intern's video game addicted brother did them. But I kept watching it anyway. A boobie here, a head wound there and I came around. Just embrace the absolute camp soap-operaness of it all, you will enjoy it, mark my words. This series has no problem killing, exploiting, and doing everything else imaginable to its characters.
Did anyone else notice how both of Lucy Lawless' nipples were never showing at the same time?
Link to see more Lucy Lawless naked in a bath full of rose petals.
Spartacus: Blood and Sand

Peggy K

2010-04-02T14:19:00.005-04:00

You still have a few days left to check out Peggy Kouroumalos' show Ferine at CHRIS CUTTS gallery. And believe me you should. Good shows in Toronto are very few and far between, so relish the rare opportunity to experience something pretty fucking amazing.

You need to see these in person.

Sketchbook Post!

2010-03-09T23:20:00.007-05:00

Not that anyone cares!

Here are some pages from my sketchbook, and some attempts at "painting" (although they are clearly just cartoons with paint on them).

I could cry

2010-02-28T20:37:00.002-05:00

Tears of gold and ecstacy.

I'm totally gonna get to meet (one of) my idol(s)!!!!
THIS TCAF
Daniel mothafuckin' Clowes is gonna be there this year.
What item do I get signed!?
One of my Lloyd Llewellyn's? Ghost World? My Enid doll?
I don't even know where to begin!

You

2010-02-11T10:59:00.004-05:00

To my Beloved Blog,
You haven't been looked after lately. It's been a while, but I know you're still here. I didn't mean to make you feel cheap, you mean the world to me. You deserve better. So I'll try.

Some things of visual interest:

My boyfriend Rory Dean's awesome website rorydean.com

He has a show coming up in July with Joe Becker, and they are going to blow your fucking mind.

Some cool animations I've come across recently:
This animation for "Tweak Bird"... No idea who the hell that is, and I don't really like the music, but I like the animation.
These ads for Chegg. I guess I like these because they look like something I see myself making, haha.

This article for Vanity Fair about women working for Disney during its 'golden age'.

I would also like to take the time to write a short rant.
Sleepaway Camp has been one of my favourite movies since I discovered it many years ago. And yes it has everything to do with the ending. It's fucking hilarious. However, in any other circumstance I can't FUCKING STAND those kinds of endings.
Two books I recently read, The Wasp Factory and Confessions of a Wallflower pulled that crap on me! Can I just say how infuriating it is when I invest time reading a book, re-reading passages, enjoying a character, only to find out that the punch-line is "I was diddled by my aunt and it's given me sleepwalking depression" or "the dog never bit off my penis as a young boy, I'm actually a girl, and my dad's a fucking weirdo." COME ON.

And while I'm on the subject of complaining, I waited for Legion, knowing it would be probably something like an episode of Supernatural, but I still had hopes for it. There were some good scenes, it had some of the ingredients right, but what the hell was the point of it? To make sure a baby is born, for... what reason? We never know! And when the baby is born, so what?
Daybreakers was also kind of a disappointment. It was definitely entertaining and the death scenes were SWEET, but the characters that I was really interested in - the Sam Neill character and his daughter, weren't in it enough.

House of the Devil comes out on DVD February 23rd. Buy it for me.

I'll update shit from my sketchbook this week.

Oh Yeah

2009-10-26T03:04:00.001-04:00

And before I forget to mention
ZOMBIELAND SUCKED.
I may further embellish at a later date.

Rustic Romance

2009-10-26T02:49:00.009-04:00

In case you were asking yourself "how is that sassy wee Larassy?"
I'm here to tell you I'm doing fucking great!
Behold!

And yeah, that totally is my hot boyfriend.

How could I forget?

2009-09-29T01:17:00.001-04:00

Despite whatever reviews you may have read, Jennifer's Body was fucking awesome.
Yeah, sure it could've been better with more of this and less of that, but all in all, it is exactly what I was hoping for, and I was totally happy when I left the theatre. Say what you will about Megan Fox, but I love her and she was made for this role. It was one of the most perfect teenage horrors I can recall in a really long time (the last ones I can remember loving were Scream and I Know What You Did Last Summer).
I also would like to say it took the whole female friendship in those types of movies to a different level. I don't want to sound like a twat but I really did appreciate the way the relationship between Jennifer and Needy was portrayed. Diablo Cody/Karyn Kusama really fuckin nailed that dynamic.
It was funny, it had scary moments - but not the kind that make you feel like "man I don't think I can watch that shit for a while again", it was hot and I loved it. I cannot wait to buy it and watch it again.
Sidenote - I really loved the pink script in the opening/closing credits.

Another movie of interest coming up The House of the Devil. The trailer reminds me of Dario Argento films a little bit. Maybe it's just the woman.
There are a couple of other ones I have a passing interest in seeing, but now that I've seen Jennifer's Body, I have to wait for my version of the next big thing to hold my breath for.

Does that make me really lame? It probably does.
But I'm pretty happy right now, so I guess I don't care.
Been drawing in my sketchbook regularly, maybe I'll start posting some of my less horrifying sketches/inkings.
I am just counting down the months. It feels really good to have a solid, attainable goal again.

Rachel Wu Has Landed!

2009-09-27T23:04:00.005-04:00

My lovely friend Rachel has been in Korea for the last year, and is in Toronto for a brief visit this coming week.
Everyone is just tittering with excitement, so I made a poster for her bday/we miss you party.
I drew this in my sketchbook and then coloured it computerally.
The first one, well the 'wallpaper' is a tentacle wrapped around a candle, but the colours make it look like burning poop. So I went with a more vibrant choice.

Sworn to Secrecy

2009-09-11T13:45:00.005-04:00

Exactly one more week until I can go see Jennifer's Body!
Inglourious Basterds was SO GOOD. I am fighting the urge to go see it again. Boy do I love revenge movies. I love revenge anything. It makes my blood boil and my nipples hard.
Drag Me To Hell comes out on DVD October 20th.

In TV news - as much as I have certainly enjoyed True Blood, the Maryanne story line was giving me a headache, and hopefully all the lardass orgies are done once and for all. They should've fleshed out the Godrich character more before burning him out, the Fellowship of the Sun story line was my favourite. I love Jason Stackhouse.
The Vampire Diaries looks gay as hell, but I will probably watch it until it becomes really unbearable, just because True Blood won't be on anymore.
Fringe is looking FUCKING AWESOME this season (and if you haven't given it a chance, or you only watched the first few episodes, you really should give it another shot, it gets really good about halfway through). Gives me the fix I haven't had since X-Files went off air. Seriously - it is FUCKING SWEET. (Proof: one episode near the end of season one, focuses on a character who has contracted vampiric prehistoric syphilis).
Supernatural is looking alright, since last season it got quite angel/demony, which I'm totally okay with. I enjoyed it. And now apparently Satan has risen to earth to claim his vessel and fight the "Michael Sword", this season could get a little preposterous, or awesome. To satisfy my own curiousity and for the sake of Jensen Ackles, I will continue to watch.
I will probably remember another TV show I wanted to tell you to check out, but then I will realize, hey I have no fucking life, and be glad I only wrote about four.

i lied

2009-08-27T13:23:00.001-04:00

i'm back at attempting to draw on the computer.
soon you shall all see.

Roger Ebert was on holiday... Or is he the dead one?

2009-08-24T04:32:00.006-04:00

Alright fuck it, I can't sleep, and I still want to write a bit more.
Jennifer's Body comes out in T minus 26 days.
I'm also really stoked about LEGION (January)

That old lady sure knows how to scoot.

DAYBREAKERS (January)

And this one, which I can't tell, will either be really sweet or really gay. 3D blue elves in g-strings riding dinosaurs... I'm going to have to see it with my own two eyes before I cast my iron judgement.
AVATAR (December)

Still haven't seen Inglorious Basterds. I want to see it but I don't. I guess it will be the true test of my love for Eli Roth. Can our love withstand a Brad Pitt movie? Maybe. Maybe not. Only time will tell.

I saw the newest Harry Potter and was pretty disappointed. I don't read the books (I've read one) so I'm speaking purely from a moviegoer perspective, but the ending felt incredibly incomplete, if there was a climax I didn't reach it. There were strong parts within the movie that I enjoyed, but they were brief and disjointed, and I just wasn't taken anywhere this time. I also went to see District 9. I liked it, but I won't be watching it again any time soon.
I still maintain Drag Me To Hell was the sweetest movie of the summer (yeah, yeah, Star Trek was good too). And I can't wait til it comes out on DVD. It had every single last thing a good horror movie should have. I can't stand horror movies that have absolutely no sense of humor.
DRAG ME TO HELL:

Guarda il trailer Drag me to Hell su Cinetrailer.it

I may also see Zombieland and Carriers. I really want to see The Cove, but part of me knows it will really bum me out and make me angry for days, so I'm not sure if I want to kill the happy high I'm on at the moment by watching it. I'll go when I'm angry at the world and feel like fanning the flames of outrage and disgust, adding to the ever-growing list of people I wholeheartedly believe should be shipped off to Death Island.

And 2 months later i am still laughing my ass off over this video:

Giving Birth to Mirth

2009-08-24T04:04:00.006-04:00

Oh and I got hired to do this. I usually draw and ink by hand, but since I've been trying to familiarize myself better with Flash, and I bought a tablet, I figured I'd try it out. So I did roughs in pencil and then scanned them, and drew it and coloured it all in Flash. It was a frustrating learning experience, and I will probably never do it again. However, I DID become more familiar with the inner workings of Flash. So it all came out gooey and warm after all.

Lately

2009-08-24T03:23:00.001-04:00

I never blog anymore, I'm not on my computer as much, I have found lately. Which is a good thing.
However I would like to exercise my blog bone a bit.
Here are a couple photos of late.
I am having the best summer. I actually went somewhere! And it wasn't my parents house! I went to Merrickville and Montreal. I'm kind of sad the summer is coming to an end. But it just means I'm closer to my goal! In 8 months time I am moving to Montreal, and returning to school. That is right. RETURNING TO SCHOOL. Not to the same school I was in last, because I can't afford the damn tuition and the rigorous demands of Bugs Bunny rotations. But life is falling into place. I even know how to make chicken wings.
And I had the best birthday, even if I don't remember most of it. I got paintings! And gift cards! (H & M, Walmart, Subway)! A musical Buffy card! Buffy comics! Hellraiser comics! A vintage Playboy! A sweet book about the universe! Corn Nuts! I am usually so down about aging I don't want to celebrate, but this year I said fuck it.
I have become best friends with Amazon.ca and have been teaching myself a couple things with various books. Next on the list: French. Je ne sais pas cornichon, jambon a la tete et pieds dans la maison.

And if you are in the neighbourhood, you should pop your head into Narwhal gallery on Queen St West, and check out Nick Aoki's magnificent solo show. And it truly is magnificent.

Happy Birthday To Me

2009-08-03T00:15:00.004-04:00

One of my most favourite songs on one of my least favourite days.
I dedicate this to me.

If my life isn't drastically different in exactly 2 more birthdays from now, I'm shotgunning a can of Raid and ending it all while I still have my looks and a huge debt to pay off (fuck you "the man").

SKULL WORLD!

2009-07-29T14:22:00.002-04:00

I'm pretty sure you're going to want to watch this trailer.
And then I'm pretty sure you're going to want to watch this movie.

Skull World Website

YES!

2009-07-09T02:40:00.002-04:00

For the record, I fucking hated Juno.
But man I cannot WAIT to see this movie. I have been waiting and waiting and waiting for the trailer. And it did not disappoint.

Ramble Ramble

2009-07-03T01:42:00.004-04:00

If anyone is wondering what the fuck is going on with the updates on the website, I apologize. It's not for lack of having anything to put up, there has been a lot of confusing web related problems, involving me now having to learn how to do web stuff. Which may take a wee bit, since I haven't had a day off in weeks. When everything is sorted out I will be sure to post about it.

I'm sure I have other bullshit to type about, but all I can think of at the moment is, I'm really excited for my Background Drawing class that starts this weekend, uhh new True Blood is pretty awesome, the garbage strike is disgusting but it also means I don't have to sort my fucking biodegradables - which I always accidentally put in the garbage and then have to pull back out after, Drag Me To Hell was one of my favourite movies this year, there's some kind of Buffy thing going on at the Bloor for the next couple weeks - and I really want to go as a huge Buffy fan - however it's based on the one episode of Buffy ("Once More With Feeling") that I have flat-out refused to ever watch - oh dilemma, my new apartment has a sweet back patio with a sweet bbq, oh and I have another bladder infection.
Horrah.

IT'S HERE

2009-06-09T12:11:00.000-04:00

The much awaited, eagerly anticipated
Drum roll please...
WEAKLYINKED
The weekly webcomic starring the likes of myself, Nick Aoki, Chris Kuzma and Mark Ashley.
Delightfully designed by Kevin Korslick (many thanks).
Check it out.
Please add this baby to your links list.

WOW

2009-06-09T09:28:00.004-04:00

So here is me with HELO!!!! aka PAUL BALLARD!!!! aka Tahmoh Penikett
Yep, I mauled him at the bar.

As you may or may not know, Battlestar Galactica is one of the best shows ever. Dollhouse started off slow but started getting awesome in the last half, so you should keep watching, since it got renewed.
Woooooooo nelly!!!!

Don't you wish you went out drinking as often as me now?

Daddy Deluxe

2009-06-04T11:54:00.004-04:00

Here is an illustration I did for my work for Father's Day.
June 21st in case you are interested.
And yes I did subconsciously draw my dad and my brother in like 1985.

The PG-13 Collection

2009-05-15T11:54:00.003-04:00

human lobster

no idea who this is, but she was adorable

I never met this guy, but Kevin got his business card, and it was the greatest thing I've ever seen. I'm sure it's going to be ripped off times 5000. Die-cuts!

He has really cool animations on his site.
Scott Pilgrim cotton snow outside The Bloor

3-D art (the one in the middle is Steve Manale)

I also really liked this one

Youtube Sensations

2009-05-14T17:40:00.005-04:00

So over a month, maybe over 3 months ago, my sister and I made this ridiculous song on her computer, in like 20 minutes, and then we thought it would be funny to make a video for it (shot by her gracious roommate, and my gracious soulmate Madame Skyvington) and then my sister whipped it up in some computer program.
And we both got lazy and forgot about it kind of, but then I just decided to post it on youtube.
So here it is.
We're not youtube sensations, but we thought it was funny, so we're going to make another one. Which will trump this one. And you will be highly impressed, and then maybe we'll be youtube sensations.
Our song was basically about THIS GIRL that I had previously blogged about. I'm pretty sure it's illegal for me to take her photo and post that, as much as I like to do illegal things, I only do the ones I can't get caught for. So you have to satisfy yourself with a crappy drawing I did.
Meet SISTERLY LOVE:

And here is my lil' sis's blog:
Ainslie

2009-04-18T16:44:00.001-04:00

I realize I have not updated this in forever, I have been a busy woman, and can't fulfill your every desire, well at least not the mental ones.
I am moving at the end of this month and am entirely stoked after seeing the size of my bedroom today. I am also stoked to sunbathe naked while eating a burger and drinking a Budweiser on my 3rd floor back deck.
Here are some of the things I have been up to lately... except not really.

You can't see it in the photo, but there was actually a broccoli growing inside of my baby bok choy.

Now you can pick up your milk and make a quick confessional all in the same place?

These are a couple of photos from my buddy Vlad's art show, you should go check it out while it's still up at Show & Tell gallery on Dundas just west of Ossington. His milkshake brings all the girls to the yard.

Snapshots in Space

2009-03-21T14:32:00.000-04:00

Before you do anything, read THIS ARTICLE.

I have nothing of particular interest to write about at the moment, other than Twilight coming out on DVD. So I'll prob watch that with my homegirls, and get a little horny when i recall moments from it later.
Haven't felt like watching any of my shows, haven't even watched the BSG finale.
So here is some chilling, and at times soft and thoughtful, visual poetry:

Don't you want me on the cover of your punk bands LP?

This girl kept passing out at the table beside me. And so, being that I often like to ridicule others for the very things I do myself, here is a photo of her.

Someone woke up on the wrong side of the table. Meow.

Romance:

Meatballs:

Kewl:

Beauty-ful:

Dainty:

Shhhh:

Today I captured this tender moment between two young boys, and felt that the world needed to also experience it.

Talk To Me Teddy Boy

2009-03-13T07:07:00.002-04:00

I used to like watching these TedTalks lectures a while back, when someone showed me this website. But I haven't been on it for a longass time.
My buddy posted this link on his facebook, about "sixth sense technology":

And it scared the crap out of me. I know I'm getting ahead of myself but we are well on our way to becoming human computers. I already hate that I have a dependency on the internet for communication, an outlet for expression and a sense of knowing what is going on in the world. But to walk around with a device being able to do that, I don't know. I feel as though the more technologically dependent we become, the less we leave up to chance, to fate, to freedom of making uninformed choices and mistakes. You can't write your own future and live your life so logically without it having repercussions in my opinion.
WOAH MAN. HEAVY.

I also found this great one on "Creativity" by Amy Tan (The Joy Luck Club). I highly suggest watching it. It was funny and insightful.

I've watched this one before, but I think you should too if you're interested in comics. Scott McCloud:

JJ Abrams' Mystery Box:

It's worth going through the site yourself.
Man I really hate being sick.
Waking up this early should be strictly reserved for farmers and people I will never sleep with.

The Boombox Made Me Do It

2009-03-12T00:29:00.010-04:00

I just...
I don't even know.
I mean... I was already shaking my head at the retardedly literal choices in music... and the terrible scoring... (there was only one scene where the score felt fitting)... but then again I think that Danny Elfman (or even Mark Mothersbaugh) should score everything, including my life.
BUT "HALLELUJAH" DURING THE "OH LOOK I GOT MY BALLS BACK" SEX SCENE?
HALLELUJAH!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
HALLELUJAH!?!?!?!?!?!?!~~~~~~~KJFklfkfkadkfakfkfkjfkdfkfkkfjdsk klxcjkxckjdf
"..." cuz that's all I fuckin' got.
I am an open and avid sex scene enthusiast. And I truly feel betrayed and let down.

I am of the school of thought that the score of a movie (unless you're making something like Pump Up The Volume or a scene that requires being aware of the music playing) should be woven with the story and the setting and the characters, and not something separate. It should all be connected and work as a whole. So much of it felt so inappropriately appropriate it completely took away from the scenes. I swear I can't even tell you what I saw during certain parts because I was so distracted by the music.

I can't even tell if I liked the movie, that's how much the music ruined it for me. I will say I thought the casting was quite brilliant though. And as much as some people didn't like Matthew Goode as Ozymandias, I felt he was perfect for the role. And so was Jeffrey Dean Morgan (sigh) as The Comedian. Jackie Haley was fucking amazing. Hopefully no more taxi driving for him after this. And the special effects were scintillating.

Anyway that's all I got. Tomorrow is a new day.
But tonight all I have is my rage. I must have a hot shower to wash away these feelings of filthy, filthy, filthy.

UPDATE: Ok, I just got out of the shower, and had this really intense discussion with my inner-psychiatrist. I'm willing to admit that the real reason I am angry over Watchmen, is because they didn't show Dr. 'Hattan's dong when he was 500 feet tall. Wow... such a weight off my shoulders. Now I can go to bed.

Later EDIT: And FYI yes I know Watchmen is rife with musical references in the comic, however it felt tacked on, cheesy and only there to make money off of, in the context of the movie, in my opinion, which is basically omnipotent.

Tea for Two

2009-03-06T19:52:00.001-05:00

There's nothing like getting hit on by a homeless guy to make a girl feel sexy. It just washes away all of my insecurities and makes me aware that yes I am hot, I am wonderful and I can do better.

I feel so fuckin' fancy. All these peeps offering to make me food this week! I had an offer of brunch this morning (although at 8am), tonight another friend is making me dinner before we go out and on Sunday another one of my beauties is cooking up something special. And that's the way it fuckin' should be. You want friendship? I want dinner.
No more compromises.

Man, this hasn't happened for so long, but there are actually a lot of movies I want to see right now. Although seeing all of them is too extravagant for my budget. If you wanna pay for me, it's on. But just so you know, paying for my movie is not a contract. If you want your dick sucked for a bag of Oreos, go hang out around Queen and Ossington for a while.
Man... my blog is reaching its all-time vulgarity limit lately. Must be spring. Even my blog's gettin' horny.

So the movies I want to see are as follows:

- Watchmen (Duh. I see that tomorrow)

- Poontypool

It's supposed to be set just outside of Bobcaygeon. I spent two thirds of my childhood there. So I kind of owe it to my heritage.

- Fear(s) of The Dark

I can't remember if I blogged this trailer when I saw it last year, but I didn't think I'd end up being able to see it in a theater. So I'm stoked, even if I have to go alone, being that I am a fan of all things Charles Burns (except his photography), horror and black on white.

- Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li

It actually looks kind of lame, but I love the 1994 Street Fighter movie (Kylie Minogue, say what?) and it used to be my favourite Super Nintendo game that I used to play with my brother all the time. So chalk it up to nostalgia and wanting to watch Kristin Kreuk flash her hot half-asian nonsense all over the screen.

Ok, now I have to give myself a quick Mexican Shower and run out the door.

Poster Girl

2009-03-04T22:01:00.004-05:00

While I'm at it, my friend Diana McNally drew me on the poster for one of her parties! I feel like a movie star!
Isn't it fucking beautiful? Not just because it's me. The lines! The colours! Exquisite!

You should go to her party! She always plays really rad music. I often find myself mindlessly humping away in ecstasy to her set and then all of a sudden it's last call - not that I am ever lucid enough by that time to recognize the fact. And The Ossington has cheap drinks. Who can afford to drink $12 mojitos at an economic time like this.

Jaclyn Brown is Hot In Town!

2009-03-04T21:44:00.010-05:00

I have too many talented friends to keep track of. Where do I even begin?
But I've been meaning to post about Jaclyn's new work. I'm so proud of her!
She is finishing up her last year of school in New York and is going to be rich and famous before you know it. So if you've got a growing art collection, get up on this fucking stuff while it's still affordable!

This is Jaclyn dancing naked in front of an Amish family.
And that pretty much sums up why I love her so.

Click on the link and check out her site. You will laugh, you will cry and you will be reborn.

It's A Love/Hate Thing

2009-03-04T09:45:00.001-05:00

Ok fine.
I don't hate the 90s.
I just hate the Goo Goo Dolls.

Clutching A Six Gun In His Hand

2009-03-04T09:18:00.002-05:00

Ok guys, what the fuck?
I am not old enough to be experiencing "my generation's" revival. For the last couple of weeks I feel as though I have been living in the past. Fucking Twilight Zone shit.
Yeah I get it, 90s are cool again; dark nail polish, ghastly tiny flowers on EVERYTHING, plaid, mustard, burgundy, forest green and god forbid sneakers with heels. Suicide will probably even become popular again.
But some shit should stay not cool. Such as Our Lady Peace, Gin Blossoms and Goo Goo Dolls. Why the fuck did I hear all of these bands in one sitting at a bar (The Dog's Bollocks hahahahahah)? Why did you make that playlist? Did you know I was coming?
And what is with everyone lately having backpacks? You think you're being functional? You're hurting my fucking eyyyyyyyyyyes.
Why are you doing this to me? Everywhere I go.

This is what I am reviving. Join me in the cool new revolution: Lorne Green.

Man, these sausage rolls are so not as good as they appeared on the box.

The Mer-Chola Saved My Life Tonight Sugar Bear

2009-03-02T22:46:00.003-05:00

So basically my sister and I are obsessed with this girl that works at Price Chopper. She's there every time we've ever gone. And she's absolutely arresting. She is part mermaid, part chola, part mystical erotica. Her hair is a gradient of Blondisma damage (like a cascading waterfall of fried ramen noodles). She also has the nails of a jungle tigress, and she wears her humble cashier costume like a gown fit for Cinderchola. And tonight she touched my life. When I could not open my plastic bag, she reached out and helped me, with her very own enchanted claws. Mer-Chola, this one's for you:

And before you go jumping up my ass for committing villainous earthocide - your baby's ass creates more hazardous shit than my 5 cent plastic bag. And the estrogen from your birth control pills, leech into our drinking water and turn our men feeble and gay, so shut the fuck up.

As a sidenote, I discovered while boiling pasta, that if you hold your face over the pot you can cut back on your beauty regime by giving yourself a starchy facial steam-bath. How's that for ecology motherfuckers?

Also I keep forgetting to post this hilarious fucking video Marina showed me a couple weeks ago. It's worth watching, whether or not you have an opinion on Twilight or Stephen King.

Clearly I Have No Life and Other Vignettes

2009-02-28T21:03:00.005-05:00

Well wouldja fuck me in my hot potato! Watchmen comes out in one week!

Sweet advertising, no? If anyone comes across any of these, please get me one.

Canada has released all of its UFO files.
I had heard stories about things close to where my parents live, that piqued my interest many years ago. The story went something like a UFO was spotted for weeks in a row near one of the lakes, and finally a bunch of locals drove out in their pick-up trucks and went all hunting season on its ass.
I went poking through the site to see if they had a file on it, but it was pretty boring. So I was like ah fuck it, I'll just google it.
And I found THIS. However, no mention of renegade hillbillies, which was kind of my favourite part of the story. But I know where I want to go swimming this summer. Wouldn't it suck to become pregnant? But wouldn't it rule to become pregnant with an alien baby from swimming in an alien social hotspot?... Actually it would be better if like, my best friend had that happen, not so much me.

So this movie Inglourious Basterds has me kind of excited. Because I can't really think of any Tarantino movie I don't like. And Eli Roth (my one true love) is in it... But so is Brad Pitt. I have grown to kind of hate all the married baby-makers of Hollywood. Think about it. Angelina Jolie USED to be hot back when she was like drinking blood and having bondage sex with Grandpa Jeb. Brad Pitt was still ok back when he was married to Jennifer Aniston because they weren't so in your face, and everyone knew it was doomed when they saw her show up on the red carpet with rich, white girl dreads. Like who wants to read about happy people? I think if you're going to "settle down" don't do it in the public eye. Take the route of someone like Daniel Day-Lewis and go cobble a shoe. Unless you have some mangled hairless crotch to flash, lesbian barfights to throw or a drug problem that drives you to have sex with like everyone (although that also gets old quick, some of those bitches need to try a little sexual redemption), keep it fuckin private. No one wants to see your serene family values acted out in the sandbox of life... What am I even talking about anymore? Just watch the preview.

Watched episode 3 of Dollhouse... Man... Totally at a loss...
I watched The Sarah Connor Chronicles when it first came out and then stopped. But season 2 has gotten more interesting for me. Plus that chick from Garbage is in it.
Went to see Friday The 13th. And it was pretty much what you'd expect. Tits, minimal suspense, mommy issues and the woods. My favourite one is still Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan... Even though most of it takes place on a boat.

And yeah, they're making a Scream 4!!! WHAT?????

Waking Nightmare

2009-02-26T04:52:00.001-05:00

Yes it is definitely time to move when the idiot girl next door to you has a bunch of yahoos back to her apartment on a Wednesday night at 4:30am to do acoustic covers of Jane's Addiction, Sublime and some other shit band the long-haired stoners I was buddies with back in high school used to listen to. It's too bad, I had finally gotten through to the fatass upstairs who insists on fucking like a machine gun while I'm sleeping.
I feel confident in my decision that yes, I am finding a new apartment. And stinkbombing that bitch before I move out.

Anyway, no one else is up right now and I'm eating cream of mushroom soup, so I have to do something before I finish.
If you're thinking of buying me say a housewarming present (May 1st), you should buy me James Jean wine.

Although in a moment of weakness I might actually drink it, and then feel really shit about it for a long time... Although I guess $40 is only untouchably fancy to me because I buy wine that costs just over $7.

Hopefully my webcomic site will be up soon.
I can't fucking WAIT for TCAF! I don't have a comic to sell at it this time, but I'm really, really excited.

Lately I've been buying more books as opposed to comics, but there are a few on my wishlist.

Right about now my lactose intolerance should be kicking in, and the neighbour has moved onto ...What's that... Oh Collective fucking Soul?!

*Edit: Finally got sick enough of it that I told them to shut the fuck up. And you know what happened? Her crackhead friend charged at me, and whipped a ceramic potted plant at my door.

Today is going to be a long day at work, I can feel it.

Punish The Sober

2009-02-18T20:07:00.006-05:00

So I have cut back my drinking since Christmas. I only drink once a week now for the most part (which is probably glaringly obvious to anyone who's seen me drink like 2 pints and start rolling around on the floor kissing my hand). I've been really trying to crack the whip and get shit done. I didn't think I went to the LCBO that often prior to cutting back (I've lived in this area for almost 2 years), but I also wasn't paying special attention to my drinking habits.

So tonight I go in there, and I'm standing in line. And the guy in front of me just had to be hot. He totally gives me this I-have-a-big-one-if-you-wanna-see-it look (or I was just invading his personal space, and he was giving me a what-you-want-me-to-fuckin-just-TELL-you-my-PIN-number? look). So I'm already kind of nervous. And while he's still standing there bagging up his 800 beers, the following conversation took place:

The Audacious Cashier:
You move to a new neighbourhood?
Me:
Sorry?
TAC:
Did you move to a new neighbourhood?
Me:
No I still live here.
TAC:
You don't come in here as often as you used to.
Me (slowly turning red):
Yep. I've been busy, trying to cut back!
TAC:
Yeah you used to come in here a LOT!
Me:
Wow... That's kind of embarrassing.
TAC:
It's not a bad thing.

The fuckin' nerve! Isn't there something in their god damned manual that prohibits them from commenting on customers drinking habits?
And the worst part was I heard the hot guy snicker!
No, no, wait, the worst part is that she's the SECOND employee at that LCBO to say that to me.

Oh well, at least I can be grateful that someone noticed my shining achievement.

Coming Soon

2009-02-18T12:09:00.001-05:00

The New Millenium

2009-02-18T06:46:00.009-05:00

Join the cause

Why? Because Millenium was AWESOME.

Dollhouse: I really want to like it, I just don't know if that's going to happen. It didn't feel Whedonesque at all. And yes "Whedonesque" IS a term. And it wasn't just because it was lacking the usual charmed dialogue that even the villains tend to have. I just didn't feel endeared to any of the characters. What the fuck was with that story line? I mean, what the fuck do I care if some asshole kid gets abducted and it makes Eliza Dushku vulnerable because it triggers a fake memory? I could be just missing the bigger picture, but it felt like some bad splice between Law & Order: Special Victims Unit and something else really shit that uses a convenient back story to explain the shit story line... But I still love Joss Whedon, so I will weather the storm, and hope I eat my words like I ate my fuckin' hand while I was watching the first episode.

Why the fuck am I up so early? I seriously don't get more than like 6 hours sleep a night anymore, I don't know what's wrong with me.

Talking Heads

2009-02-17T01:11:00.001-05:00

I've been really feeling like updating more frequently, and I keep fighting the urge. But a part of me really just wants to blog like all the time now. So fuck it, I will. And yeah, I just blogged 4 MSN conversations I had this evening, and I'm still online talking to 3 of them. WHAT?

MIKE:
Mike
it does sound plausible, when faced with you its fight or fuck
Mike
i am serious
Mike
and artists are proper fucked
so much emotion, so little requirement for control over it, so much encouragement to express it
not the best recipe for a balanced personality
Makin' a Dick Doiley just like gramma did
hahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahaha
i love you
Mike
thanks
you are tolerable
kinda

VLAD
And trust me when I say, this is NOT the worst of it. Some things the world just can't handle.

romantic pornos
im chattin with donger
we are both obsessin over pussy right now
Makin' a Dick Doiley just like gramma did
hahahah gross
romantic pornos
WHATEVS
Makin' a Dick Doiley just like gramma did
go suck his dick you big homo
romantic pornos
ha gross
im not gay
romantic pornos
im gonna tell him you wanna suck hius dick when he comes back
Makin' a Dick Doiley just like gramma did
hahaha
BEAT YOU TO IT!
romantic pornos
no way
im gonna finger you next time i see you drunk
hahahah
Makin' a Dick Doiley just like gramma did
WHAT?

GREG

greg
when did you quit facebook? i'm finding i never even use it anymore, except for the weekly purge of my inbox...
Makin' a Dick Doiley just like gramma did
november
i know i hate the purge
i figure i can safely come back on it
and i wanted to delete all these people
greg
doesn't it not even let you delete it? like, you just put your account on hold and it keeps it around for you?
Makin' a Dick Doiley just like gramma did
which i'm doing when i rejoin haha
yeah it puts your account on hold
but yeah
it'll all still be there when i sign in
greg
...with friends ripe for deletion.
i'm tempted to do the same thing, but i can't be bothered to delete people. meh. i'm too lazy to lurk, luckily.
Makin' a Dick Doiley just like gramma did
like i want to promote my comic but not to people i might write about
ahahhaha
like there's way too many people i went to high school with
although whatever
i'm totally putting shit about my ex in it, and i dont care
greg
ha. i sort of got over that problem, for better or owrse... i assume no one actually reads what i write.
Makin' a Dick Doiley just like gramma did
there will be no one left that isnt covered in shit hahaha
it would be hilarious if somene got mad
greg
you could write a comic about it.
Makin' a Dick Doiley just like gramma did
yeah i could hahaha
i want to start blogging more too
i want to become really in touch with my internet fan/hate-base
greg
i'm sticking to twittering. and eventually updating my online journal again.
Makin' a Dick Doiley just like gramma did
your twitters are always funny
greg
i feel like twitter is a good back-alley way for your hate-base to communicate without actually soiling your actual web site or blog.
Makin' a Dick Doiley just like gramma did
aw man i'm getting hives from that gross soup i made fuck
haha comments off dude
comments off
greg
today i felt sort of bummed out writing that twitter. like, i seriously heard sobbing through the walls.
Makin' a Dick Doiley just like gramma did
i almost commented on that
hahaha
greg
exactly. they can @message you on twitter if they really need to.
what was your comment going to be? i wasn't listening, i just couldn't not hear. y'know? haha
are you allergic to something in the soup? i haven't gotten hives in years.
Makin' a Dick Doiley just like gramma did
it was just gonna be rude and i was like... i'm so hateful on twitter hahah i shouldnt be
probably
its from thailand
everything from asia is poisoned
greg
that's a twitter post right there.
Makin' a Dick Doiley just like gramma did
haha or a blog entry
you're always funny greg
very consistent
you should seriously blog
greg
i don't blog, i online journal.
(which has been my argument since i was first told what a blog was, a year or so after starting my online journal. ha.)
i'm only... 3 years and 2 months behind, i can totally catch up.
Makin' a Dick Doiley just like gramma did
hahahahahhahahahahahahahahhaha
you can TOTALLY catch up
people always start new ones anwyway
i dont know what the point is, but i did it too
greg
no deal! if i catch up and keep it updated until may 2010, i can throw a 10-year anniversary party. to dream, to dream...
Makin' a Dick Doiley just like gramma did
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH
greg
so you're saying you'd come by?
Makin' a Dick Doiley just like gramma did
most definitely
greg
man, i hope announcing ten years of journal entries wouldn't inspire anyone to read the old ones, because i just tried, and it wasn't pretty.

HADLEY
(If i was ambitious enough I'd go searching through my trancripts for any of his drunk conversations, but this was tonight)

Disasterodeo
haha yeah
oh man, Facebook added this new 'like' button to most things so you can basically go "yay" without making a comment... my flatmate just did this to someones status update http://imagebin.org/38600
Makin' a Dick Doiley just like gramma did
bummer it didnt work
Disasterodeo
try again
1:15
Makin' a Dick Doiley just like gramma did
nah
its not working
Disasterodeo
dumb. basically it said "Rob has a sick baby"
and then it had a thumbs up with "You like this"

2009's Top Ten Celebrity Lust List (A Valentine Confession)

2009-02-13T21:37:00.012-05:00

That's right. This IS what I choose to blog about for Valentine's.
In no particular order (how could I possibly?) my Top Ten picks for the hottest celebrities of 2009.
Follow your loins to paradise!

1. IAN SOMERHALDER - For no reason other than I recently watched Season 1 of Lost and also Rules of Attraction. Don't you just want to fuck that chiseled shit 8 ways from Sunday? He's like how Clark Kent is supposed to look, not this Tom Welling feigned intensity shit, Ian Somerhalder's face is always forced into intensity by eyebrow genetics.

2. KRISTIN KREUK - You have to love half-asian girls, I've never seen one that wasn't hot. AND she's supposed to be the fucking star of THIS! Fuckin' Chun-Li and shit. YEAHHHHH.

3. NATHAN FILLION - Yeah I know Firefly has been over for a long time, and Slither came out ages ago (both of which I still re-watch regularly) but his charmed, traditional western vibes are timeless. He doesn't seem to be packing much gun in the holster but I'm willing to pass passing judgement until I've held and felt the truth with my own two hands.

If you want a more intimate look at Nathan Fillion then click HERE

4. MEGAN FOX - I've argued about her being hot with a few people now. Bitch ain't trashy, she's just from a small-town, and us small-town girls have got to stick together, naked, in the heat. And yeah perhaps she is trying to be like a young Angelina Jolie, but what's wrong with wanting to be a bisexual hot chick who constantly likes to talk about it? Wake up and smell the sex organs people.

5. SEBASTIAN SPENCE - I had seen him in bit parts here and there, but he was never onscreen long enough for me to truly ogle. Hopefully he will be in Battlestar more often. After looking up photos of him I have to wonder if he isn't a bit gay though. But it's okay. I'm not a bigot, I'll have sex with a gay guy if he's good looking.

6. JEFFREY DEAN MORGAN - Otherwise known as The Hot Dad on Supernatural. You don't understand how excited I am to see him play The Comedian in Watchmen. I hope they show the rape scene!

7. ROBERT DOWNEY JR - I think is one of those universally agreed upon hot people. I mean I would prefer 1980s RDJ, however I can't complain about the 21st century one. Like, I know he had a drug problem and I know he used to bang strippers, so like, where the hell is the sex tape?

8. JAVIER BARDEM - Man there must be something in Mexico's water besides dysentery, because when they make a rugged man they make him right. Is he even Mexican? I dunno. Mexican, Spanish, Pig Latin, Whatever. HOTTT.

9. CRAIG HORNER - The young star of Legend of the Seeker's favourite activities include swimming, playing the guitar and kayaking - but who the fuck cares? Just take your clothes off and slay some dragons for me.

10. DOUTZEN KROES - is like the hottest fucking woman alive (well since Kelly LeBrock got old). If a sex-robot was produced to look like that, the whole fucking world would collapse into some kind of nano-technologorgy, no one would go to work, bother eating or bathing and we'd all just die.

Oh oops, I'm adding an 11th, I almost forgot my favourite.
11. ELI ROTH - Okay so maybe he doesn't have the greatest hair on the planet and he remotely resembles a Jewish Danny from NKOTB, but I like reading his Myspace blog and watching all the special features with him talking about his awesome movies. And one day, we're totally getting married. So there.

Sorry to all of those nominated that didn't make the cut this year. Maybe a fresh hairstyle, sex scandal or gimmicky blockbuster will improve your chances for 2010. Dear Sarah Michelle, my love is fickle, and you haven't delivered much recently. Although I did just IMDB you and see that you were in a romantic thriller, which I may watch later, and then recant my Top Ten (Eleven).
I know some of you expected to see The Rob Patt up there somewhere, and as soon as Twilight comes out on DVD, Pornhub's hits will go way down. But without those hazel contact lenses, dark groomed eyebrows and constant Vampire lust and suffering - he's just some regular good-looking guy ((definitely not Top Ten (Eleven) worthy)). I really feel for any fan that gets to bang him. He's not actually going to bite you, rip at your shirt, break the walls with passion as he throws you around like an animal... Aw fuck now I'm totally going to end up youtubing the kissing scene again. THIS NEEDS TO STOP.

In honour of all you've accomplished in the wake of your defeat Sarah Michelle, this is for you.
For the rest of you, watch this and cry for your lost love, the love you've never known or the love you have now but realistically won't soon.

'Fucking the Fence' is the new 'Fucking the Dog'

2009-02-08T23:56:00.008-05:00

After seeing My Bloody Valentine in 3-D - which, let's be clear, was a terrible fucking movie, proved what I always knew in my heart to be true - that every movie should be in 3-D. Especially movies with hot people. I really felt like i could reach out at any moment and kiss the hot brother from Supernatural. Which at moments made for some excited sighs, followed by the awkward realization I was experiencing 3-D attraction sitting next to my sister.

If you're bored and looking to experiment emotionally, I suggest watching Married To The Eiffel Tower which will leave you with a mixture of revulsion, grief, loneliness and finally gratitude - especially Part 2. Today I was having a bit of a "Why am I such a dick when I'm drunk?" morning, but after watching a grown woman basically *sniff her fingers* while touching a ferris wheel and another one dry-hump a picket fence, I've decided I don't really have a lot of problems, and I should probably not dwell.
Although I could've saved myself the whole 40 minute emotional roller coaster and just watched this youtube video. At the end of the day, I'm just glad my heart doesn't belong to a forbidden bannister, my tits don't drop 8 inches when I dance like Beyonce and I live in a country where I can get totally hammered for less than an hours wage.

Hide The Chunk

2009-02-06T18:25:00.008-05:00

This is the gorgeous sight I have been passing on my way to work, for the past 3 days.
Isn't it beautiful? Glean whatever poignant message, humorous metaphor or subtle truth you can from it.

I too feel the deep change in my soul. You are not alone.

Little Sister

2009-02-01T22:26:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday Ainslie! You gon' don' yo mammy proud!

Intrigued by what you see?
You too, can get your own goth necklace inspired by the movie Twilight and also featured on the John McEnroe episode of CSI! Nothing says sex like fake blood in a vial.

Only The Lonely... Pepperoni

This is me being 1984 Don Johnson.

I realize that it looks like I only drink at the same apartment every time, but it's winter, so fuck you.
Also, here is my new look, or should i say nu look. Laura was trying to make me resemble Jane Seymour circa her medical drama years, however it ended up looking hot... *chuckle* of course it looked hot. So I will be wearing my hair a la Seymour (or Lara Croft maybe?) for at least 3 weeks straight, and then after that, you may copy me.

Oh also, I'll be rejoining facebook to promote (haha) the webcomic I've been getting together with Nick Aoki, Mark Ashley and Chris Kuzma. And if anyone has ever been to San Diego and has advice on good/bad places to stay/go, fire me off an email, because I'm going there in July!

I Cast Yee, I Cast Yee Into Thee Abyss!!!!.... shut up

2009-01-19T23:16:00.006-05:00

I love that I can just lie in my bed in the dark eating Corn Nuts, and experience sword fighting, wizards and young lust in the wee fairy forest glen. Thank god for technology. Life is beautiful.

Legend of the Seeker
Prepare to be bewitched:

Watching this show makes me miss New Zealand, and want to rewatch every single episode of Xena and Hercules. Remember how hot Ares was?

*Update: I was just googling Kevin Smith (real name of Ares), trying to find myself a sweet little visual before going to bed, only to find out he died in 2002. I feel quite sad, I didn't know him or anything, but he was like, cool and stuff. I always truly feel sad when someone attractive passes away. If only we were given a choice. "People of the planet earth, do you find it just that we shall pluck out the star of a hot member of society, or would you rather substitute a worthless, cracked out ugmo?" Because I'd have the same answer, every time. And the world would be a far better (looking) place.

Human Bean Juice

2009-01-14T19:18:00.003-05:00

Check this fucking shit out. Man I can really get behind these "motion comic" webisode things.
If you're a fan already this is just a sweet treat. And if you're too lazy to read the comic (SHAME!!!!!) then you will like this too, because you're probably just sitting there reading some shit celebrity blog anyway. (Yes there are more chapters, just find them on the site). *You've gotta especially love that the male narrator does the voiceover for Silk Spectre (both).

Watch watchmen in Anime | View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com

It's only been 2 weeks into 2009 and I'm already convinced it's going to be the best year of all time. I know we're in a recession and blah blah blah, but compared to what I was living like before, I'm actually feeling as though my situation has greatly improved. I am so proud of myself, I have been sticking to a budget and teaching myself to cook healthy food. I pretty much had to start eating healthier. Don't believe me? I figured as much. However, I have photographic evidence:

Recipes confuse and bore me. So I've just been throwing things together based on food I already like. And so far so good. It's been a slow-moving process, but now a couple months later, I'm feeling like a seasoned amateur in the kitchen and my body is thanking me.

Man I can't wait to see what happens in a couple weeks! I am so excited for this project I am working on with 2 of my favourite buddies. And going to the library to write, rain or shine (aka hungover or not hungover) is like the best thing ever. I feel like I'm finally becoming the person I've always wanted to be, but was too fucking lazy.

As a sidenote, now that the papers are in the works for my passport renewal, it means I can leave boring ass Canada and take road trips to do fun things like THIS!!!!!! Join me?

The Aftermath

2009-01-01T14:43:00.002-05:00

New Years Eve was lovely.
Although I did wipe out doing one of my famous love-tackles, and smashed my face off the table. It's nothing a few handfuls of Advil won't solve.
I got to spend it at a beautiful little soiree with some of my favourite people.
Thanks to Ainslie, Laura and Megan! You guys put in a lot of thought and effort, it was truly wonderful. It was like some time warp version of a little kids birthday party in the 60s, except instead of pop we were drinking booze, and instead of chips there was pink old lady jell-o and the cutest cupcakes I've ever seen.

This morning:

Chocolate Pounds

2008-12-30T12:37:00.002-05:00

Here is the illustration I did for my work for their Valentines Day promotion. Minus the text. I don't know why I hate showing text so much. I spose I feel it ruins the rawness of my art. Hahaha.
I've really gotten into this digital colouring thing as much as I've tried not to.

Here are some old favourites to bring in 2009 with.
Close your eyes (or leave them open) and let the beauty wash over your fucking soul.

And last but not least; my idol, my love, the whole reason i wanted red hair as a youth, my ultimate celebrity crush:

You know you love me for these things I do to you.
Now take your hand out of your pants and go find someone to kiss before it's midnight.

Christmas with the Thomas Family

2008-12-30T03:39:00.002-05:00

My brother making us breakfast

My dog being stuck in the snow

Me, my dog and my Christmas cocktail

My dad with half the present I gave him

Me with the present my wonderful sister gave me

My brother outfitted courtesy of Ainslie and Santa

My cute as a button Mum

Ainslie with part of the present I gave her - keeping the Xena tradition alive

The Urkel shirt I got my brother

For the record, my dad has had that Olive Garden santa hat since 1994

My sister is the cutest

My mum and brother playing Rock Band #whatever in his room. Yes, if you're wondering that IS a giant healing salt crystal. Looks like my mum is planting spirituality around the house again.

I have no New Years resolutions this year.
I'm not fat, I don't smoke and I don't need to get laid.
I have a feeling 2009 is gonna blow the last decade out of the water.